Sometimes you are the bug.....

That is how life feels right now. I am in the lone star state, tending to my mother who just started her cancer treatments. I am with my parents, whose dysfunction is on display every day I am here.

I left behind a wife with a fractured kneecap, whose sister is now being diagnosed with cancer. A wife I miss dearly but am afraid she would be better off with someone who can be there for her.

I left behind a blended family that was just beginning to gel, but is now becoming distant again.

I had a sexual life I thought could get no better, yet now it seems so long ago that it was healthy.

I am tired and I am lonely......life seems to be less about livin' and more about not dyin' a day at a time. I am sad about where life seems today and it feels so far from where it once was.

I may be simply whining, but I miss where I was just a few months ago and fear what 2011 is planning to bring.