Here I was struggling with what to blog about, given I don't blog much lately and it always seems to be dull 'life' updates. Then I went and read Dana's Birds, Bees and Purity blog and got all opinionated and such (uh oh). Dana attended her churches healthy sexuality conference with her son. Brought back memories of taking Dude to this with his mom and the unrealistic expectations that goes along with it. What a waste of energy - all so a bunch of "Faithful to God one day a week every other month and all major holidays" parents can give themselves a false sense of security as they stick their head in the sand. These are the same folks that end up being appalled at all the other kids' behavior and proudly proclaiming their children don't behave like that.

Dana provide the 'Purity Pledge' that churches have kids sign - goes hand and hand with their abstinence only approach. I have to say I find the 'Purity Promise' list infuriating. How many of the parents having their kids sign this ridiculous document by these rules? "Mr. Smith - you think this list is so important to little Joey, how about you and the missus model that lifestyle for him - American Idol, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy are not considered God honoring shows." Guess what - even when you do not want your kids to see something (like the SAW movies) they see them at their friends house anyway.

I prefer to speak to my kids openly and honestly about what they hear and see, whether it be Family Guy, South Park or other "objectionable" material. Amazingly enough, my 11-year old daughter was able to decide/determine on her own that these are not appropriate for her and we discuss it. She is not an adult and I do not treat her as such but I do not pretend she is in 1st grade either.

Same with my 15 year old son. We talk about sex and drugs - even when he acts all embarrassed and grossed out with his dad. I discuss with him my challenges and mistakes I made at his age. Granted, many times it is not a discussion, more of me talking and him grimacing, but I do know some of it does sink in.

I hope it is this way with Babushka's 13 year old son, although I respect her view and would never take an approach with BuddyLuv that she was not comfortable with.

Being a teen today is tough with all the dangerous behaviors being glorified. I prefer to discuss these dangers in real terms in hopes that it helps him when faced with these tough choices. They still may make a bad choice, but at least he is not burdened with some unrealistic expectations placed on him by hypocritical adults whose words have been "you can't watch this or do this but leave the room so you don't see us doing it" which reinforces to all of these kids that it must be something fun and we should try and do it but never tell our parents about.

GET BUSY LIVIN' OR GET BUSY DYIN'
SOMETIMES A LITTLE CONTROVERSY IS JUST WHAT THE DR. ORDERED :-)

What would you (not) do for $10,000

Some days I am so busy around the office that I end up reading stories such as this.

• Marriage Contest has one hitch: No sex

There are a few quotes within the article that helped me lighten up an otherwise stressed day at the office:

- "In our society it's going to be hard to find" a couple that hasn't had premarital sex [a couple who has not had premarital sex]. … But the standard is the standard." I suspect it would be easier to find a couple not having post-marital sex :-).......but her standard is her standard and she is sticking to it, by Golly!

- Yet in a recent interview, Faust seemed inclined to relax the rules, saying couples engaging in sex can still qualify but they must acknowledge, “The right choice is probably not to have had done it.” She will, however, draw the line at couples living together. “If the couple is living together, definitely not, because they are set up for the kill.” OK, so her standard was dropped dramatically in the very next sentence but only as long as they have sex in their car or their parents house!!

Hypocrisy is so prevalent "in our society", although apparently not as prevalent as premarital sex. How about we focus on discussions with our teens and young adults about respecting and honoring the person you are making love with. Or perhaps the importance of effective communication regarding sexual needs and expectations during a marriage before they get married.

But no - as long as you are a virgin when you are married then you are have succeeded! - unwanted sex, forced sex, withholding sex as part of your marriage are fine because THANK GOD you are married.

You know, Babushka and I could use $10,000 if we acknowledge it would have been better if we waited.........................not waited with each other but waited with the unfulfilling sexual partners we had before each other! Plus - We only participated in oral sex with each other this morning before work so perhaps we still qualify as virgins (at least for today) :-)

GET BUSY LIVIN' OR GET BUSY DYIN'
It appears many are getting busy indeed