It is Over.....

....but I do not feel much like celebrating today. It is a strange place to be today, not the feeling I thought I would have when this started 20 months ago.

• Yesterday I was accepting of the end result with the judge.............Today I am less accepting and again feeling that I have been made the fool

• Yesterday I was anticipating an ability to finally adopt a better lifestyle...........Today I realize my lifestyle will continue to be in a basement with a 10-year old dented car for a much longer time

• Yesterday I was dreaming of the endless possibilities for Babushka and I..................Today there is seemingly a reality that both Babushka and I are seeing which is perhaps not endless after all

Funny how often this sort of thing happens...........you wait an eternity for something and once it finally arrives it is not what you expected.

Life is like that

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'
A shout out to the person responsible for the quote above - apparently he was too busy living rather than driving. I wish him a speedy recovery.

Its over

The divorce is over.

Weekend that Was

It was indeed a lovely weekend spent with my favorite people: Babushka, Pumpkin (aka Peaches), BuddyLuv and Dude.

All five of us went to the horse racing track on Friday night and had a wonderful time. Neither Babushka or I are gamblers but it is a blast watching the kids get so excited when the have $2 riding on their favorite horse.

Saturday afternoon four of us went to play miniature golf(Dude is 15 and much too busy with friends to spend two days with us). Once again it was a blast - the park we went to is beautiful, with ponds and wildlife. We then came home, made dessert and played games together. This morning we had a lovely breakfast and after Babushka and BuddyLuv went home Pumpkin and I had a very special heart-to-heart talk.

The weekend was a wonderful illustration of what life should be like more often for all of us - memorable times spent with the ones we love.

Together Again

TMI - 7/29/08

1) What is your language pet peeve. (example 'hot water heater', why would you heat hot water)
KAHUNA – I strongly dislike when people speak of themselves in the third person.
BABUSHKA - Phrases like, "I am just saying" or "And, so, what happened is" that are used in every other sentence. Drives me crazy!

2) What is your favorite word? Both dirty and clean?
KAHUNA – As this is a tribute to George Carlin, the word ‘ballsniffer’ comes to mind from one of his routines. Depending on context it could be both dirty and clean.
BABUSHKA - Clean = Adore or Missy Dirty = Dirty, or little, or slut, or dirty little slut

3) What is the one word you cannot spell?
KAHUNA – Receive (spellcheck always correct it for me but I always spell it ‘recie….)
BABUSHKA - Just. I always spell it jsut.

4) What is the one word you always pronounce wrong?
KAHUNA – Cub (Inside joke for my lovely Babushka)
BABUSHKA - I cannot think of one that always do wrong. Not that I speak properly. Just no one points out what I say thats wrong.

5) If you could erase one popular catchphrase from the english language, what would it be?
KAHUNA – “Cold enough for you?” – Yes it is so shut up
BABUSHKA -

Bonus (as in optional): The late, and very hot Michael Hutchence (INXS) once sang, "Words are weapons, sharper than knives" . What is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to anyone? Was it deliberate or accidental? What was the most hurtful thing ever said to you? Do you think it was deliberate or accidental?
KAHUNA – Most hurtful thing I have said to someone - “I am leaving” – Yes it was deliberate. Most hurtful thing said to me – “Wine” Context: Ex and I were in marriage counseling and therapist asked the ex a hypothetical question of “If you had to choose between Kahuna or your wine which would you choose?” Funny thing is that I was the alcoholic (not her) and having alcohol always around was not helpful to trying to stay sober.
BABUSHKA - The most hurtful thing I think I have ever said to anyone was probably I hate you to my mother. Though she is judgmental, she never gave up on me. The most hurtful thing I have ever had said to me was probably by my mother who recently told me that my age (19) was no excuse for my not being a good mother from the start. Because, I was "not that young". It was deliberate.

TMI - 7/29/08

What is your language pet peeve. (example 'hot water heater', why would you heat hot water)
KAHUNA – I strongly dislike when people speak of themselves in the third person.

What is your favorite word? Both dirty and clean?
KAHUNA – As this is a tribute to George Carlin, the word ‘ballsniffer’ comes to mind from one of his routines. Depending on context it could be both dirty and clean.

What is the one word you cannot spell?
KAHUNA – Receive (spellcheck always correct it for me but I always spell it ‘recie….)

What is the one word you always pronounce wrong?
KAHUNA – Cub (Inside joke for my lovely Babushka)

If you could erase one popular catchphrase from the english language, what would it be?
KAHUNA – “Cold enough for you?” – Yes it is so shut up

Bonus (as in optional): The late, and very hot Michael Hutchence (INXS) once sang, "Words are weapons, sharper than knives" . What is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to anyone? Was it deliberate or accidental? What was the most hurtful thing ever said to you? Do you think it was deliberate or accidental?
KAHUNA – Most hurtful thing I have said to someone - “I am leaving” – Yes it was deliberate.

Most hurtful thing said to me – “Wine” Context: Ex and I were in marriage counseling and therapist asked the ex a hypothetical question of “If you had to choose between Kahuna or your wine which would you choose?” Funny thing is that I was the alcoholic (not her) and having alcohol always around was not helpful to trying to stay sober.

Cute Test

So, I took a test just for fun. It was one of those silly tests asking "Are you. . ." It was naughty or nice. Here is what I scored:

You're Pretty Tame

Most people think you're as good as gold. We know better. Sure, you're generally a by-the-book, law-abiding model citizen, but every once in a while you like to break a rule or three. Skinny dipping? Done it. Had a drink too many now and then? Guilty as charged. But chances are that's pretty much the worst of it. We all have a few skeletons in our closet, but when it comes right down to it, you're a nice person. You wouldn't dream of making a serious play for your best friend's squeeze, and you always pay your traffic fines — speeding and parking tickets. It's a good balance. If everyone was like you, the world would be a happier place, so keep it up!

Too funny!

Stuff

I am glad to report there is very little to write about today. Thought, I will probably end up writing a long time about nothing.

We had a garage sale this week. Lucky me. We have it at my home, because it is closest to the cities. All the crap decended on my house over a month ago, but rain canceled the original dates.

I am pretty sure that I made more than I actually received. But, my sister seems to think it is ok to borrow whatever she feels justified in taking without my approval. It is garage sale stuff. It is not worth arguing about.

Kind of like my bag of change. At my niece's softball tournement, I had my bag of change from my tips. I keep it in the car. It was pretty close to full. I had it out so I could buy each of my 4 nieces a treat, had to chance the foster baby's diaper and forgot I put the bag in the diaper bag when doing so. We are only talking like $30 worth of change. But, when I called my sister and asked her about it, she said that the girls must have found and took it. Nice.

I love my sister because she is my sister. I tolerate my sister because she will take away my nieces if I do not. But, I do not trust her any farther than I can throw her (and she is heavier than I am, so that is not very far). At least all the crap is gine. We donated everything that did not sell.

Oh, I am down to 175! There, I said it. Yes, I am thick. But, 175 sounds fat. Looking at the pics out there, I don't look like what I believe 175 looks like. I would like to be 160. That means only 15 more lbs to go. I like my curves. I just want to be a healthier curvy lady.

Talk about weight, my mom is very unhealthy overweight. She was diagnosed as borderline diabetic and has totally changed her life around. She is almost total vegetarian and has lost 18lbs in 6 weeks. She is looking so much better and healthier. I am so happy for her.

Kahuna is doing so good. I am so proud of him! He has been walking through these last couple of days better than I could have prayed for. It is totally understandable if he had rough days. But, thankfully, he has a good network of people supporting him.

PB has continued to attempt to dig her nails into Kahuna. I will try to explain this without totally confusing things: Wednesday Kahuna got a call from his atty. PB's atty called Kahuna's atty. PB really wants to keep the house. She is willing to make the payments on it. In return for her making payments on a home that is over mortgaged, it is only fair, they reason, that she get 100% of his 401K, which is no small amount of money. I am so proud of Kahuna for not allowing his desire to "get this over with" overpower his sense of logic.

1) She would not qualify for the house on her own, so it would stay in his name.
2) She is making $10/hr. $10x40hrsx4wks = 1600/month before taxes. The mortgage is not quite twice that.
3) 1 + 2 = his still paying the mortgage in the end to save his credit.

12 days left!

Well, my home looks as if a tornado went through it. When my sister and her 4+ kids come, everything falls to pieces. So, I had better go clean. Hope all is well for all.

~Babushka