Remember when Pumpkin scared us by telling us she had a bad dream and she had a good dream. We were scared that I was part of the bad dream. Come to find out. . .
I had 1000 umbrellas. Someone broke in and broke my umbrellas. She and I teamed up to investigate who did it.
:-) I love her.
Showing posts with label Remember When. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Remember When. Show all posts
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Remember When - Not Smothering Meant Missing Each Other
This past week, I offered to purposely NOT come down to Kahuna's this weekend. Every weekend since our first full night together, BuddyLuv and I have been down here at least one night. To show that I respect Kahuna's relationships with Dude and Pumpkin, I said we would stay away and give them some alone time. I know it is a thin line, being involved and being too involved, when it comes to situations like ours. I don't want to cross that line if I can help it at all!
Friday evening, before 7pm, BuddyLuv was already asking when we would see Kahuna, Dude, and Pumpkin again. Pumpkin was asking when they would see us again. By 7pm we had plans to meet at 10:30am the next morning.
I guess I shouldn't worry quite so much!
Friday evening, before 7pm, BuddyLuv was already asking when we would see Kahuna, Dude, and Pumpkin again. Pumpkin was asking when they would see us again. By 7pm we had plans to meet at 10:30am the next morning.
I guess I shouldn't worry quite so much!
Remember when - Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve 2008. We were all together for the first time. I volunteered to wrap Dude's Christmas present for PB. I went downstairs. I brought it back up, completed with a bow and everything. He walked out of the bathroom. I asked if it looked ok. He took it, said it was beast, and gave me a hug. He hugged me! At 15, he hugged me!
That was a gift I never want to forget.
That was a gift I never want to forget.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Things just aren't that bad
Last night, Kahuna and I finally got to spend some time together. This, that and the other thing have kept us apart far too much this week. I feel like I keep jinxing us by thinking or saying that things cannot get worse and are going to get better.
Sunday we found out my niece, Peanut (11), lost a friend to meningitis. There was now panic that it was the "bad one" and my sister's family may have to be treated because the kids had just played together recently, plus my mom and BuddyLuv were at my sisters house on Saturday. Which, by extension, means we ALL may need to be treated. It was not the "bad one" and if the hospital would have taken her seriously the first time she was brought in, she would not have passed. Instead, they had to take her in a second time at which point she was air-vacced to another hospital where she passed.
Monday I had to take BuddyLuv to the Dr because he has pneumonia and is not getting any better. His cough was so bad, they thought he had whooping cough. He does not.
Monday I was told by a man at work that I cause him to feel a little something something and that I shouldn't dress as nice as I do because I don't want to get raped. Yep, thats what he said. . . Just a week ago, I had mentioned to co workers when we were out for dinner that he made me uncomfortable. Come to find out, he has made others uncomfortable. He just never crossed that line with them.
Kahuna was here for me, exactly how I needed him to be.
Tuesday I had to deal with the aftermath of Monday's incident. I faced him with supervisor/director present and told him what line he had crossed and how his "compliment" affected me.
Tuesday my niece, Princess, was tested for cancer. Though they do not know what the growth is on her bone, it is not cancer.
Tuesday BuddyLuv, Kahuna and I had to go to orientation. It is funny how they "ask" for a donation to cover things like the planners that are handed out and such. Then the teacher remarks that she will be following up with parents who forget to send in the donation. Huh? Then again, this is the same teacher who advised the kids to put their locker combination inside their lockers in case they forget the combination. BuddyLuv has the same dang English teacher he had last year. The same teacher we STRUGGLED with all year long. The same teacher I had to contact the principal about!
Kahuna and I just disconnected. It was terrible and it was icky. I was sure something was "different" with or bothering Kahuna. I could feel it in my gut. I was wrong, at that moment. I guess you could say it was more a feeling of what was to come.
Wednesday Kahuna was already irritated because of having to fight with PB about September bills. Then we exchanged emails not of our character, showing our disconnect. He had to meet PB at the cable company to have his name taken off it. That night, we were the most disconnected we have ever been. It hurt.
Thursday Kahuna and I do not start the day off if a good place, make things worse by being too direct, deal with PB and more crap that she has pulled. . .
Then, Thursday night, Kahuna goes to work out, goes to an AA meeting and comes over. The instant he walks in the door, things are better. . . for both of us. . . I hold him, he holds me. I kiss him, he kisses me. BuddyLuv shouts out that he can hear us kissing. We talked about things a little bit.
I wish I could remember the exact verbiage we used. But, basically, we agreed that:
Things are just not right when we are not together.
And, things just aren't that bad when we are.
This morning, I feel like I have my Kahuna back. And, I hope he feels like he has his Babushka back.
Get Busy Livin or Get Busy Dyin. . .
This is it, this is life, and we are living!
Sunday we found out my niece, Peanut (11), lost a friend to meningitis. There was now panic that it was the "bad one" and my sister's family may have to be treated because the kids had just played together recently, plus my mom and BuddyLuv were at my sisters house on Saturday. Which, by extension, means we ALL may need to be treated. It was not the "bad one" and if the hospital would have taken her seriously the first time she was brought in, she would not have passed. Instead, they had to take her in a second time at which point she was air-vacced to another hospital where she passed.
Monday I had to take BuddyLuv to the Dr because he has pneumonia and is not getting any better. His cough was so bad, they thought he had whooping cough. He does not.
Monday I was told by a man at work that I cause him to feel a little something something and that I shouldn't dress as nice as I do because I don't want to get raped. Yep, thats what he said. . . Just a week ago, I had mentioned to co workers when we were out for dinner that he made me uncomfortable. Come to find out, he has made others uncomfortable. He just never crossed that line with them.
Kahuna was here for me, exactly how I needed him to be.
Tuesday I had to deal with the aftermath of Monday's incident. I faced him with supervisor/director present and told him what line he had crossed and how his "compliment" affected me.
Tuesday my niece, Princess, was tested for cancer. Though they do not know what the growth is on her bone, it is not cancer.
Tuesday BuddyLuv, Kahuna and I had to go to orientation. It is funny how they "ask" for a donation to cover things like the planners that are handed out and such. Then the teacher remarks that she will be following up with parents who forget to send in the donation. Huh? Then again, this is the same teacher who advised the kids to put their locker combination inside their lockers in case they forget the combination. BuddyLuv has the same dang English teacher he had last year. The same teacher we STRUGGLED with all year long. The same teacher I had to contact the principal about!
Kahuna and I just disconnected. It was terrible and it was icky. I was sure something was "different" with or bothering Kahuna. I could feel it in my gut. I was wrong, at that moment. I guess you could say it was more a feeling of what was to come.
Wednesday Kahuna was already irritated because of having to fight with PB about September bills. Then we exchanged emails not of our character, showing our disconnect. He had to meet PB at the cable company to have his name taken off it. That night, we were the most disconnected we have ever been. It hurt.
Thursday Kahuna and I do not start the day off if a good place, make things worse by being too direct, deal with PB and more crap that she has pulled. . .
Then, Thursday night, Kahuna goes to work out, goes to an AA meeting and comes over. The instant he walks in the door, things are better. . . for both of us. . . I hold him, he holds me. I kiss him, he kisses me. BuddyLuv shouts out that he can hear us kissing. We talked about things a little bit.
I wish I could remember the exact verbiage we used. But, basically, we agreed that:
Things are just not right when we are not together.
And, things just aren't that bad when we are.
This morning, I feel like I have my Kahuna back. And, I hope he feels like he has his Babushka back.
Get Busy Livin or Get Busy Dyin. . .
This is it, this is life, and we are living!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
The power of truth and honesty
It has been a beautiful week again.
It has been a week filled with the continued saga that is Kahuna's seemingly never ending divorce. She found a way to stop her PB foot to try and extort more $$ by demanding more that is in no way connected to the divorce precedings and threatening to NOT sign the already agreed upon documents unless she get it.
It has been a week filled will challenges and memories surrounding out sobriety in the form of haunting dreams and my momentary guilt that I was not there to hold him through the dreams. That guilt soon turned into pride. He was ok. Kahuna had a rough night, but knew I was there even if I was not.
It has been a week filled with health concerns in the form of BuddyLuv being 4 hours away and having pnemonia. My princess niece (9) (not to be confused with PB) broke her leg which has lead to the finding of a "growth" on her bone that must be tested this coming week.
It has been filled with sex! Wonderful, body rocking sex! Toys! Intimace! Fucking! Love making!
It has been filled with beautiful, special, quiet, intimate moments. Moments when we danced to no music at all in the kitchen. Moments where we had difficult scary, raw, emotional discussions, exposing dreams and fears, being vulnerable and growing even closer than we have ever been. Moments that made me remember that we are not "waiting" for us to begin. We are here and now.
Get busy livin or get busy dyin?
We are living the life we are given, not waiting for the life that may or may not ever be!
It has been a week filled with the continued saga that is Kahuna's seemingly never ending divorce. She found a way to stop her PB foot to try and extort more $$ by demanding more that is in no way connected to the divorce precedings and threatening to NOT sign the already agreed upon documents unless she get it.
It has been a week filled will challenges and memories surrounding out sobriety in the form of haunting dreams and my momentary guilt that I was not there to hold him through the dreams. That guilt soon turned into pride. He was ok. Kahuna had a rough night, but knew I was there even if I was not.
It has been a week filled with health concerns in the form of BuddyLuv being 4 hours away and having pnemonia. My princess niece (9) (not to be confused with PB) broke her leg which has lead to the finding of a "growth" on her bone that must be tested this coming week.
It has been filled with sex! Wonderful, body rocking sex! Toys! Intimace! Fucking! Love making!
It has been filled with beautiful, special, quiet, intimate moments. Moments when we danced to no music at all in the kitchen. Moments where we had difficult scary, raw, emotional discussions, exposing dreams and fears, being vulnerable and growing even closer than we have ever been. Moments that made me remember that we are not "waiting" for us to begin. We are here and now.
Get busy livin or get busy dyin?
We are living the life we are given, not waiting for the life that may or may not ever be!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Blessed Week
Talk about a difficult week. I know, contradiction to the title. But, read on. . .
Wednesday we were in an accident. It was a bad accident. An ass in a big white van in the end of rush hour merged into the far right lane of a three lane interstate. The only problem was, BuddyLuv and I were right there where the van wanted to be. We went onto the shoulder to avoid being rear-ended by the traffic behind me.
At that point, we lost control, crossed the three lanes of traffic, than back again and ended up rolled, passenger side down facing the wrong way in the ditch.
I have always felt that I have angels watching over me. For as bad as things get, they could always have been worse. And, we always make it. This is one of those many times.
I could see the panic and buildup in BuddyLuv's eyes.
The windows were smashed in, we were covered in glass.
I told him no, we are ok and it was over. Now we just had to get out of the car as quick as possible. I told him to unbuckle himself, as we were sideways, he dropped into the glass. He crawled out of the sunroof and I told him to do. He laid down on the ground like I told him to do.
How I got out, I do not know.
The next eternity was a blur. Ambulance. Doctors.
As soon as I knew BuddyLuv was ok, the doctors asked me if I was ok. I was not. I was pale as a ghost, I guess. They got me a bed and monitored me. My blood pressure was 150/110.
We were bumps, bruises and fears aside, we were fine, safe and alive.
It is funny, a recent TMI question asked about beating yourself up, forgiving yourself. I have spent the last 96 hours, that 5760 minutes, reliving what happened in probably less than a minute. Was I paying full attention? Should I have let them hit me instead of avoid it? I knew I would not regain control of the car, so when we were coming back over, I purposely prayed we land in the ditch instead of being hit by a car behind us, was that the right thing to do? Did I over-react? Could this have been avoided? Why didn't I take better care?
The car is totaled. It was less than a year old and and a leased vehicle. I will probably end up paying the next couple of years on a car that is done and gone because I will not get from insurance what I owe. (anyone know how that works?)
But, then for every scared thought or self doubt I have, I have another thought. Every penny I will probably end up paying out paid for a car that got us through what could have been a tragedy. It paid for that car that gave me that 5760 more minutes of time with my loved ones. It also paid for my opportunity for every other minute of my life.
I am blessed. I hold tight what truly matters. I have my Kahuna, my BuddyLuv, my Dude and my Pumpkin and everyone else. I have angels watching over me.
Wednesday we were in an accident. It was a bad accident. An ass in a big white van in the end of rush hour merged into the far right lane of a three lane interstate. The only problem was, BuddyLuv and I were right there where the van wanted to be. We went onto the shoulder to avoid being rear-ended by the traffic behind me.
At that point, we lost control, crossed the three lanes of traffic, than back again and ended up rolled, passenger side down facing the wrong way in the ditch.
I have always felt that I have angels watching over me. For as bad as things get, they could always have been worse. And, we always make it. This is one of those many times.
I could see the panic and buildup in BuddyLuv's eyes.
The windows were smashed in, we were covered in glass.
I told him no, we are ok and it was over. Now we just had to get out of the car as quick as possible. I told him to unbuckle himself, as we were sideways, he dropped into the glass. He crawled out of the sunroof and I told him to do. He laid down on the ground like I told him to do.
How I got out, I do not know.
The next eternity was a blur. Ambulance. Doctors.
As soon as I knew BuddyLuv was ok, the doctors asked me if I was ok. I was not. I was pale as a ghost, I guess. They got me a bed and monitored me. My blood pressure was 150/110.
We were bumps, bruises and fears aside, we were fine, safe and alive.
It is funny, a recent TMI question asked about beating yourself up, forgiving yourself. I have spent the last 96 hours, that 5760 minutes, reliving what happened in probably less than a minute. Was I paying full attention? Should I have let them hit me instead of avoid it? I knew I would not regain control of the car, so when we were coming back over, I purposely prayed we land in the ditch instead of being hit by a car behind us, was that the right thing to do? Did I over-react? Could this have been avoided? Why didn't I take better care?
The car is totaled. It was less than a year old and and a leased vehicle. I will probably end up paying the next couple of years on a car that is done and gone because I will not get from insurance what I owe. (anyone know how that works?)
But, then for every scared thought or self doubt I have, I have another thought. Every penny I will probably end up paying out paid for a car that got us through what could have been a tragedy. It paid for that car that gave me that 5760 more minutes of time with my loved ones. It also paid for my opportunity for every other minute of my life.
I am blessed. I hold tight what truly matters. I have my Kahuna, my BuddyLuv, my Dude and my Pumpkin and everyone else. I have angels watching over me.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Remember When #2
Remember when I fell in the elevator?
About a month before we took the plunge into this unknown and blissful world of us, I took a plunge in the elevators at work! I had on my black heels with the strap and double buckle around the ankle. I walked out to our elevator lobby and there you were! Oh, you were so beautiful! And, I was so distracted!
You were going up. I was going down to leave for the day. My elevator came first, so I took one step into the elevator. . . BAM! I caught the heel just right in the minimal space between the lobby floor and the elevator floor and down I went. Face first! It was all I could do, to fight back the tears of embarrassment! You rushed to the door, but it all happened so quickly and someone else was already helping me up.
My heel was broken and those shoes are long gone. My pride was broken, but has long since healed. But it was the look of sadness in your eyes that really stands out. I could see the caring and concern in your face.
You were always my knight in shining armour. It is not that you did not help me up. It was that you wanted to help me up. You wanted to break my fall. You cared and care even more every day. You would go out of your way to watch out for me. That is what makes you my knight in shining armour!
Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'!
This is us livin' in all of our glory!
About a month before we took the plunge into this unknown and blissful world of us, I took a plunge in the elevators at work! I had on my black heels with the strap and double buckle around the ankle. I walked out to our elevator lobby and there you were! Oh, you were so beautiful! And, I was so distracted!
You were going up. I was going down to leave for the day. My elevator came first, so I took one step into the elevator. . . BAM! I caught the heel just right in the minimal space between the lobby floor and the elevator floor and down I went. Face first! It was all I could do, to fight back the tears of embarrassment! You rushed to the door, but it all happened so quickly and someone else was already helping me up.
My heel was broken and those shoes are long gone. My pride was broken, but has long since healed. But it was the look of sadness in your eyes that really stands out. I could see the caring and concern in your face.
You were always my knight in shining armour. It is not that you did not help me up. It was that you wanted to help me up. You wanted to break my fall. You cared and care even more every day. You would go out of your way to watch out for me. That is what makes you my knight in shining armour!
Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'!
This is us livin' in all of our glory!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Remember When #1
Shortly before we gave life to this blog, becoming Kahuna and Babushka, Kahuna was following some blogs. I remember the first one he mentioned, An American in Greece . . . He also mentioned how he started to see couples blogs like Their Epidermis is Showing. They could be so intimate! So wild! So erotic! They could be anything!
Everyone has a reason to be blogging, if only to find their reason for blogging. He started what is now our blog in the hopes of someday sharing it with me. I have struggled a bit when it comes to blogging.
***I really do not have anything to say that is profound and thought provoking like Gillette - Courtesan not Razor, whom we have read from day one.
***I don’t have amazing erotic stories like so many of you.
***I don’t have a many issues for which I need advice and resolution(for those of you who write about those issues, I wish you peace and patience as you resolve those issues).
***And, I don't know everyone on this earth like Osbasso - Man, Myth and Legend, who has inspired so many with HNT!
Then today, it struck me. Why did I, Babushka, start blogging?
It was not only because I loved the thought that, at the beginning of “us” beginning something like a blog. It was because I truly saw this as something bigger than an on line journal. I saw this as our opportunity to create something everlasting that we can look back on someday and share laughs and smiles. A “remember when” mixed with a “look what we made it through”. But, that doesn’t work when you do not write what you want to remember!
So, here is my first “REMEMBER WHEN”!
Remember when. . . I got my concussion?
Lets see, we would have been together about what. . . 6 months. BuddyLuv was in bed. We were sitting sideways on the couch, facing each other. Whatever you were saying, you had me laughing so hard that I rolled backwards (I thought it was soft up to that point)!
The corner of the wood within the padding hit the back of my head just right. . . BAM! OUCH!
For a second, everything was black. BuddyLuv heard the crash and came out to see what had happened. I was laughing while crying and you were holding me while trying to explain to BuddyLuv that I was ok and what had happened.
You held me for a moment and asked if you should take me to the hospital. I told you I was fine. I could see the concern on your face, so I tried to convince you I was fine. I told you it was late. You needed to get home and sleep. I shooed you out the door even though you offered to stay.
Less than 5 minutes later I called you in a panic because I had come to my senses, sort of, and realized that my sight was not right. I kind of freaked out.
In no time, you were there again, by my side, comforting me as best you could. . . being there so I could relax. No matter what we have ever gone though, just your presence alone calms me. I laid there against your chest, trying to stay calm. I relaxed.
About an hour later, you said my eyes looked better. I just wanted to go to bed. Not my smartest move. Thank God His Angels were watching over me and allowed me to wake the next morning!
My sight still acting up, I drove to work in the hopes of getting an appointment at Urgent Care. Yeah, not a smart move, either. 30 minutes after I got to work, I was in tears, scared about my sight. They would not see me at Urgent Care and advised that I was to go straight to the hospital. Without a second thought, you canceled meetings and took me to the nearest hospital. You sat with me for forever waiting to get in. I was fine. I knew I was. . . sort of. . . So I asked you to please go back to work. You are an important man and I greatly appreciated your being there and dropping everything for me. But, this time, it was unnecessary.
Yep, I had a concussion. They were not too worried about my sight, it was already getting better. If it were not all the way better in a few days, I should follow up with my doctor. So, back you came to get me.
You are my Kahuna. I adore you with all my smiling heart!
Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'!
This is us livin' in all of our glory!
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