Talk about a difficult week. I know, contradiction to the title. But, read on. . .
Wednesday we were in an accident. It was a bad accident. An ass in a big white van in the end of rush hour merged into the far right lane of a three lane interstate. The only problem was, BuddyLuv and I were right there where the van wanted to be. We went onto the shoulder to avoid being rear-ended by the traffic behind me.
At that point, we lost control, crossed the three lanes of traffic, than back again and ended up rolled, passenger side down facing the wrong way in the ditch.
I have always felt that I have angels watching over me. For as bad as things get, they could always have been worse. And, we always make it. This is one of those many times.
I could see the panic and buildup in BuddyLuv's eyes.
The windows were smashed in, we were covered in glass.
I told him no, we are ok and it was over. Now we just had to get out of the car as quick as possible. I told him to unbuckle himself, as we were sideways, he dropped into the glass. He crawled out of the sunroof and I told him to do. He laid down on the ground like I told him to do.
How I got out, I do not know.
The next eternity was a blur. Ambulance. Doctors.
As soon as I knew BuddyLuv was ok, the doctors asked me if I was ok. I was not. I was pale as a ghost, I guess. They got me a bed and monitored me. My blood pressure was 150/110.
We were bumps, bruises and fears aside, we were fine, safe and alive.
It is funny, a recent TMI question asked about beating yourself up, forgiving yourself. I have spent the last 96 hours, that 5760 minutes, reliving what happened in probably less than a minute. Was I paying full attention? Should I have let them hit me instead of avoid it? I knew I would not regain control of the car, so when we were coming back over, I purposely prayed we land in the ditch instead of being hit by a car behind us, was that the right thing to do? Did I over-react? Could this have been avoided? Why didn't I take better care?
The car is totaled. It was less than a year old and and a leased vehicle. I will probably end up paying the next couple of years on a car that is done and gone because I will not get from insurance what I owe. (anyone know how that works?)
But, then for every scared thought or self doubt I have, I have another thought. Every penny I will probably end up paying out paid for a car that got us through what could have been a tragedy. It paid for that car that gave me that 5760 more minutes of time with my loved ones. It also paid for my opportunity for every other minute of my life.
I am blessed. I hold tight what truly matters. I have my Kahuna, my BuddyLuv, my Dude and my Pumpkin and everyone else. I have angels watching over me.