Saturday, January 31, 2009

If it looks too good to be true..........

So Babushka's home finally sold!!!!

This is exciting for so many reasons, not the least of which is that is signals another milestone in our lives becoming one. It also means we need to get serious about deciding where we are going to live.

The stress of uncertainty was being felt by both of us. The end result of this was that last week we just turned it over to our higher power to take care of - just have faith.

the perfect situation had seemed to fall into place just a couple days later, with us putting an offer in on a property that was perfect for us. Financing got approved and the offer was full price - this was really going to happen.....

To spare the long details, we felt that the listing agent was not telling the whole story and sure enough. The property title is held by one of those wonderful "we'll help you work with your lender" companies. Needless to say that this is no longer the sure transaction we thought......and all of this is out of our control.

It is frustrating when we do things the right way and situations outside our control have such influence. But such is life.

If this does not work out it simply means it was never supposed to. Yet that does not make it any less disappointing.

But I have the life I used to only dream of with the woman I love. It doesn't get any better than that!!!!!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Sleep, Faith, Peace

I got some deep sleep, have faith that we need to say out of the way and it will all work out. It is because of that, that I have peace.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

TMI Tuesday #171 - Movie Edition

1. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?
KAHUNA - I am so bad at remembering stuff but I know it was with Babushka (sorry sweetie)

2. What is your favorite movie theater snack?
KAHUNA - Fresh Popcorn with extra butter and salt (including the middle!)

3. Have you ever snuck in 'outside' food into a theater?
KAHUNA - Nothing major, just a little candy here and there

4. Have you ever made out in a theater?
KAHUNA - With my Babushka, although I am nit sure it would constitute "Making Out"

5. What is the 'farthest' you have gone in a theater?
KAHUNA - Not far enough, although I am sure it is on the "Bucket List" for Babushka and I to pursue.

Bonus (as in optional): What is one of your favorite movie sex scene?
KAHUNA - The movie "Jade" - Although I am not a huge fan of David Caruso I still remember his forceful backdoor scene with Linda Fiorintino to this day

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sick and tired of being,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

.............sick and tired.

Came home from statistics class feeling sick - I thought it was just the class itself but it ended up that I have gotten the 'crud' and it will it go away. Being the man (big ass baby) that I am (every man is) of course I won't do what Babushka asks of me, which is to just go to the doctor. I would rather make everyone else's life miserable - what is it with guys. The whole world should end because we are sick (and by the way it should).

God probably created Adam and said to himself "If I just leave him nothing will get done and he will keep bugging me!" Like I want to spend 2,000 years listening to this guy whine cause he doesn't feel good and therefore can't move 2 feet to get the remote". Just another example of why God made sure the really tough stuff were the responsibility of women :-)

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'
"Babushka............I am thirsty and don't feel good" (insert whiny tone here)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Fear of Regret

It is amazing what a strong motivator the fear of regret is for me.

Ya know those advertisers who use the "fire" rush or you will miss it method. I am their dream target audience. The fear of regret seems strong in me then most. I have always lived in fear of not getting a second chance. I have written about this before in other posts. I am getting better at being patient and accepting that the majority of things in life are out of my hands. But, that fear sometimes comes back.

We found a house a while back. Actually, it is more than a house. It is the kind of house that was used as reason to dislike the people who lived in it. After all, why did they need that big of a house. To show off? That was a vulgar display of wealth to me. Now, not that the house we found was THAT big. . . I think it was 3500sqf. But, you could fit two of my home inside this home. I fell in love with it. It was in a fancy neighborhood. I could see myself walking a fancy breed of dog down it's streets. For as much as I try to NOT have bad thoughts towards PB, it did cross my mind that this house is nicer and bigger than hers. For as much as she wanted to break Kahuna, this would be a visual that she did not.

This house was also about 25% over the max we wanted to spend on rent. It also had so many rooms, we would need to buy furniture for. And, I highly doubt, with all the woodwork, that we would even be allowed to have a dog.

Thank goodness, as quickly as those vein thoughts came on, they left. It is just a house. As nice as it is, it is just a house. When it comes down to it, I don't need or want a home like that. I want us, together, with as little debt as possible. We do not want to be house whores. We do not want to miss out on other things in life because we are maxed out on the place to live.

So, where does the fear of regret come into this. Kahuna was right. . . I was AFRAID that if we did not jump at this one, and make it work financially, we would not find a place with 4 bedrooms in the neighborhood we wanted to be in. I was afraid if we did not jump at it, we would end up living in the basement with him for a LONG time. I was afraid that it would cause a lot of extra stress as it would mean we would have to provide transportation to BuddyLuv, both to and from school. And, how were we going to do that if we both work day jobs?

But, patience. Today, we went to look at a home. It is funny, because things always seem to line up when they are meant to line up.

Kahuna rents right now. Kahuna's landlord (Landlord Husband) is going to be the landlord for a property of a friend whose job takes him out of the state indefinitely. The home? A 4 bedroom, 3 bath, pet allowing, paint allowing home in the right school district, 6 minutes away from the kids. The catch? 1) they are flexible, but would prefer not to move until the school year is over. 2) they are asking almost as much in rent as the BIG house.

#1 concern is already in motion towards resolution. Landlord Wife loves us. She reiterated that she would love to have us here until that place becomes available, if we decide to go for it. She thinks we are nice people, and enjoys interacting with us. In fact, she said she understands we would not want to. But, she would be happy to keep us on for the next two years (the amt of time they plan to continue to rent).

#2 concern is already in motion towards resolution. Landlord Husband has already shown the home owner comps. Without hesitation, homeowner has agreed to lowering the initial asking price to just 250 over our idea rent payment. The lowered rental asking is now just 100 away from the max we want to pay.

Landlord Husband said we would be the dream tenants for that home. And, if we go in offering only 50 more than our ideal rent payment, knowing that we are looking for a longer term lease, he can show that this is better in the long run for the home owner, because 1 month of it not being rented is over $150/mo loss for that year.

The home is perfect. But, there are other perfect homes out there. I would be very happy if this one works out. But, I am ok if it does not.

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'!
This is living and loving it!

Remember when, the dream

Remember when Pumpkin scared us by telling us she had a bad dream and she had a good dream. We were scared that I was part of the bad dream. Come to find out. . .

I had 1000 umbrellas. Someone broke in and broke my umbrellas. She and I teamed up to investigate who did it.

:-) I love her.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

TMI #170

1. Have you ever dated/married purely for money?
KAHUNA - Should have held out for cash the first time.

2. What is your type?
KAHUNA - Brunette with a beautiful smile, voluptuous body, kind and gentle heart........or I could just say Babushka and move along.

3. What is the best sex game you have ever played?
KAHUNA - Babushka and I will need to play a sex game some time.

4. Have you ever given or received an orgasm from a person whose last name you did not know?
KAHUNA - That would have to be way back in my Haight-Ashbury days (OK I am not quite that old). Actually I was never the type of 'player' where I would not have known the person's full name. There was once where I picked up a lead singer of a band and she took me to her place, but she was so boring and lousy in bed I left before having an orgasm.

5. Have you ever masturbated in front of a sexual partner?
KAHUNA - I loved Dana's answer to this (Does the partner have to be awake?) Yes I have and would love to see my partner cum while I watch.....Babushka?!??!

Bonus (as in optional):At what age do you think men and women reach their sexual peak? Do you think you have hit yours yet?
KAHUNA - Depends on a person's definition of 'peak' - spoken like a guy who may be past his, huh :-)
Physically it seems pretty well documented that for guys it is 18-25 and gals 30-37 or in those general age brackets. Emotionally it is much different though and depends on a frame of mind and how you feel toward your partner(s), not an age.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Here I was struggling with what to blog about, given I don't blog much lately and it always seems to be dull 'life' updates. Then I went and read Dana's Birds, Bees and Purity blog and got all opinionated and such (uh oh). Dana attended her churches healthy sexuality conference with her son. Brought back memories of taking Dude to this with his mom and the unrealistic expectations that goes along with it. What a waste of energy - all so a bunch of "Faithful to God one day a week every other month and all major holidays" parents can give themselves a false sense of security as they stick their head in the sand. These are the same folks that end up being appalled at all the other kids' behavior and proudly proclaiming their children don't behave like that.

Dana provide the 'Purity Pledge' that churches have kids sign - goes hand and hand with their abstinence only approach. I have to say I find the 'Purity Promise' list infuriating. How many of the parents having their kids sign this ridiculous document by these rules? "Mr. Smith - you think this list is so important to little Joey, how about you and the missus model that lifestyle for him - American Idol, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy are not considered God honoring shows." Guess what - even when you do not want your kids to see something (like the SAW movies) they see them at their friends house anyway.

I prefer to speak to my kids openly and honestly about what they hear and see, whether it be Family Guy, South Park or other "objectionable" material. Amazingly enough, my 11-year old daughter was able to decide/determine on her own that these are not appropriate for her and we discuss it. She is not an adult and I do not treat her as such but I do not pretend she is in 1st grade either.

Same with my 15 year old son. We talk about sex and drugs - even when he acts all embarrassed and grossed out with his dad. I discuss with him my challenges and mistakes I made at his age. Granted, many times it is not a discussion, more of me talking and him grimacing, but I do know some of it does sink in.

I hope it is this way with Babushka's 13 year old son, although I respect her view and would never take an approach with BuddyLuv that she was not comfortable with.

Being a teen today is tough with all the dangerous behaviors being glorified. I prefer to discuss these dangers in real terms in hopes that it helps him when faced with these tough choices. They still may make a bad choice, but at least he is not burdened with some unrealistic expectations placed on him by hypocritical adults whose words have been "you can't watch this or do this but leave the room so you don't see us doing it" which reinforces to all of these kids that it must be something fun and we should try and do it but never tell our parents about.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

TMI Tuesday #169 - Back to TMI Basics

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your sex life?
KAHUNA – I would definitely say 10 (or 9.5 if you subscribe to the notion that there is always room to grow)

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?
KAHUNA – To kiss Babushka back and the twist her around so that her back is up against the wall!!

3. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
KAHUNA – When Babushka told me I did not have to be perfect because I was perfect for her as I am.

4. Where is the most unusual place you have ever had sex?
KAHUNA – Everyone looks at unusual differently. When I was married and had my affair, I had sex in a car and in a park, but that is pretty common for an affair. With my beautiful Babushka it would have to be when she seduced me onto the floor of the basement bathroom in the middle of the night while the kids were sleeping.

5. How do you liked to be kissed?
KAHUNA – Long kisses with very soft lips

Bonus (as in optional):Most embarrassing sexual moment?
KAHUNA – Babushka and I are never embarrassed by anything that happens when we are being sexual. With that said, I get embarrassed when equipment decides at the most inopportune time that now is the time to not be fully cooperative.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Reflecting Back while Looking Forward

I was checking out Shibari's new site and read her very poignant reflection of her 2008. This made me slow down enough to realize that a solid inventory (4th step for those who are friends of Bill W) of the past year would not be a bad idea.

In reflecting back I must admit there have been some wonderful events that have transpired during the year that was:

Babushka and I:
The 'honeymoon' that was 2007 was replaced with a much more substantial yet satisfying 2008. In 2008 we faced true challenges toward one another - not fights but situations where one of us was emotionally challenged with the other yet we were able to talk them through our feelings and frustrations with respect of the other.

Babushka and I (and the rest of the brood)
2008 saw our families begin the process of integrating into a single unit, specifically Dude and Punkin. This process was one I was concerned with yet went as well as I could have possibly imagined. Punkin and BuddyLuv have become friends very quickly and enjoy each others' company on the weekends we are all together. Even Dude, in all of his 15-year old self absorbed glory, has been polite and accomodating during this time.

The long-awaited divorce:
After two long years there was a conclusion (sort of) with the divorce from PB. August saw the trial date arrive and a settlement finally become reality. Granted, this did not come without significant expense (emotional and financial). But after 24 months my desire to be done with this enabled me to make the tough decisions needed to bring this to resolution. As a result I have a house in my name that I do not live in with two mortgages solely in my name; a car I do not drive with an auto loan solely in my name; a house full of furniture, electronics and the like acquired over 15 years that was divided 100% for her and 0% for me. Even with all that - it has been well worth the cost given what I have been given in return (see two previous paragraphs).

I have more 2008 to review and expectations for 2009 to blog about but it is late now and Florida has wrapped up the BCS game. Dude and I can now go to bed.

Until tomorrow - take care and be blessed!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Remember When - Not Smothering Meant Missing Each Other

This past week, I offered to purposely NOT come down to Kahuna's this weekend. Every weekend since our first full night together, BuddyLuv and I have been down here at least one night. To show that I respect Kahuna's relationships with Dude and Pumpkin, I said we would stay away and give them some alone time. I know it is a thin line, being involved and being too involved, when it comes to situations like ours. I don't want to cross that line if I can help it at all!

Friday evening, before 7pm, BuddyLuv was already asking when we would see Kahuna, Dude, and Pumpkin again. Pumpkin was asking when they would see us again. By 7pm we had plans to meet at 10:30am the next morning.

I guess I shouldn't worry quite so much!

Remember when - Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve 2008. We were all together for the first time. I volunteered to wrap Dude's Christmas present for PB. I went downstairs. I brought it back up, completed with a bow and everything. He walked out of the bathroom. I asked if it looked ok. He took it, said it was beast, and gave me a hug. He hugged me! At 15, he hugged me!

That was a gift I never want to forget.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

2008 2009

With as many challenges as 2008 brought, it brought even more blessings and gifts. Thank you for an amazing year. I am excited to see what is in store for us in 2009.