Thursday, October 1, 2009

My, how things have changed :-(

I remember thinking "Once Babushka and I are in the same house we will finally be able to participate in HNT every week". Yeah-Right!!

We now are not only in the same house but are man and wife raising 3 kids and 2 dogs while working and going to school. Days into months mush together and now with fall here the calendar fills with school, sports, debate, holidays and the like.

I remember now what being married is like......although let me clarify that being I am happily married rather than what my last marriage was. I love my Babushka in a way that I never dreamed possible and am loved in turn by her the same. But real life is work - much different than 'staying over at each others house every other night'.

Which gets to our of the guilty pleasures that has been pushed to the back of the line. I read a few here and there - not sure about my lovely bride. We certainly do not participate as we thought we would. My office now blocks nearly every blog now so midday blog-surfing over lunch is a tyhing of the past. I miss our blogging, our joint TMI's and our HNT's.

Temporarily gone but not forgotten

We are busy livin' and for that I am greatful!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

TMI Tuesday #206

1. Have you used put anything edible on (or in) your partner's body and then eaten it?
No I have not but have wondered what it would be like to slide a peeled banana into Babushka and.....

2. Have you ever had an AIDS test due to reasonable suspicion or hyperactive imagination?
Regrettibly Yes, after disclosing an affair to my ex-wife.

3. Have you ever fantasized about someone else other than your partner while you were engaged in sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
Actually Babushka and I fantasized about her girlfriend together last night during sex, oral sex and masturbation!!

4. Have you ever engaged in sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation while in a moving car? A car being driven by someone not engaged in the sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
No, Yes and Yes.

5. Have you ever had sex so many times or for so long that one or both people involved runs dry?
Gladly yes - Babushka and I will get to the point where we are both sore but extatic

Bonus (as in optional): Name 5 things an unplanned (or planned) visitor would find in your bedroom?
1. Lubricant
2. Vibrators
3. Blindfold
4. Butt Plug
5. Laundry :-)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

TMI Tuesday #201

1. Do you have "your" side of the bed? Which side?
Babushka and I each have our 'side' but that is misleading. Babushka will not go to sleep until she is spooned next to me on my side. I always joke that I truly only have the last 18 inches of the bed but when it is a nekkid Babushka on the other side who can complain?

2. How old is your pillow and what condition is it in?
We just bought new allergent-free pillows about 6 months ago so we are in good shape.

3. What is your favorite position to sleep in?
I usually will go from back to stomach then finally on my left side with Babushka pressed tight against my butt

4. How often do you change your sheets?
Not as often as we should probably - every month or so I guess.

5. What helps you fall asleep when insomnia strikes?
Blowjob (Babushka can stop laughing now) - Two ibuprofen or a sudafed work as well.

6. Does sex make you sleepy or energized?
Both - Depends on the time of day

7. What is the minimum amount of sleep that you need to be functional the next day.
I function best on about six to seven hours of sleep. Eight hours makes me sleepy throughout the day

Bonus (as in optional):
Describe your most vivid dream.
This is a bad question for me - I seem to always forget my dreams when I wake up. The one I remember is about a week after Babushka and I were married - I was mad that some guy was sitting in my computer chair preventing me from drafting my fantasy football team so I smacked him. Unfortunately I smacked my Babushka right in the nose :-(. Our firs week of marriage was me stepping on babushka's foot and breaking her tow in two places followed by the smack to the nose.

I am sure lucky she really loves me.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

What is the best part of a Saturday??

Getting home at 10:00am from a great recovery meeting to your wife wanting to have sex.........................then after she has 3 straight orally-induced orgasms you lay a sheet over her so she can rest and doze off.

It feels so rewarding!!!!!!!

I love my wife, my lovely Babushka

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

TMI Tuesday #200 (Happy Anniversary!!)

1. What is the longest you have been in a monogamous sexual relationship? [For the purpose of this question monogamous is defined as no sexual partners that your significant other does (did) not know about.]
Based on the description above that would be my lovely Babushka

2. If your current relationship would fail, do you have a back-up for physical or emotional comfort?
Back-up what? If this is another woman to take my Babushka's place than no I do not. I do have our kids and friends who would be able to fill much of the comfort role. i am blessed in that way.

3. Can you be "just friends" with someone when there is an unrequited sexual attraction?
Babushka and I were "work" friends for a period of time where we both were aware of feelings toward one another. We kept those feelings 'unrequited', as I was married at that time and neither of us wanted anything like a hookup or affair. Once I was separated I did not wait very long to ask her out on a date and the rest is beautiful history.

4. In a assumed monogamous sexual relationship have you ever cheated, been cheated upon or been a knowing third party to the infidelity? [For the purpose of this question monogamous is defined as no sexual partners that a significant other does (did) not know about.]
I had two affairs while I was married to my former wife and she eventually found out about both. The first one was immediately after our wedding and the other was at about the 9 year mark of our 17 yrs. Both women I had these affairs with were married as well and to my knowledge their husbands' never knew. Tough to read this - certainly nothing to be proud of.

5. Historically, what has caused the most arguments in your relationships?
Historically it would be sex and money. Babushka and I tend to not have really arguments about “things” – instead we discussions around how a decisions or action by one of us makes the other feel or what old wounds it triggers in us.

Bonus (as in optional):What do you want from a partner in a long term relationship?
What I already have in Babushka.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

TMI #198 - Relationships

1. Family is Dysfunctional but necessary.

2. Friends are Occasional but necessary.

3. Exes are good at being a big pain in the ass (OK - that is just my personal rant).

4. Strangers are friends we have not met yet (OK - this response even makes me ill but it was all I could think of).

5. Relationships work best when respect is mutual.

Bonus: Tell us about your first love:
Pretty Standard Fare:
1st Girlfriend - both 14 years old - 2 years long - My 1st kisses and 1st "touches"
Seems pretty tame by today's standards but it still warms my heart when I think of it..........just like my Babushka!!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

TMI Tuesday #197 - Nonsexual Edition

1. The three words that best describe you are Supportive, Polite, and Funny.

2. The three words that best describe your life are Joyful, Fulfilling, and Overdue.

3. Your three guilty pleasures are Pistachios, Ice Cream, and Kisses from my wife.

4. The three places you would like to visit before you die are Greece, Key West, and Maine.

5. The three things you would like to do before you die are Travel to Greece with Babushka on my 50th Birthday, Watch my 3 kids graduate, and Celebrate my 20th Anniversary with my Babushka.

Happy TMI Tuesday Everyone!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Bet - Part 1

"Pull your cock out" were the first words out of her mouth

As I looked out the windows of the Saab 9-7 I was suddenly struck by the number of other commuters that surrounded us. The clear view I had of their grooming habits and musical preferences, along with the cool breeze, reminded me that our windows and sun roof were open.

"I'm waiting!"

She was unmoved as I explained to her that I was in the middle of driving our SUV down a busy freeway. She was equally unimpressed as I reminded her that driving is not my greatest skill-set, even at my most attentive.

"Stop stalling - I won the bet and I get 24 hours of you doing anything I tell you to do. That time started as soon as you got in the car. Now pull that beautiful cock out!!"

Her smile was ever-present and as intoxicating as the day I first saw her. Time and marriage have not changed my admiration of her beauty not my desire to please her. My mind drifted to the many wonderful memories of our life together, including the little bets we like to make with one another. While we quickly forget what the bet was on we always remember the resulting payoff.

In this instance, the payoff was my beautiful wife allowing her mind to run wild and letting her libido be free of restraint. Right now that libido was demanding the release of my cock from its comfy confines.

As one hand guided the Saab down the road, my other hand unzipped my tan cargo shorts and pulled my hardening cock out for all to see - anyone above our sunroof anyway.

"And your balls, pull them out too.......That's a very good boy"

She leaned over in the seat and slid my cock in her warm mouth, licking the underside of the helmet and gently rubbing my balls. She has always know my weaknesses and today she was going straight to them.

My eyes closed in pleasure until I realized I was still driving. As I tried my best to regain my composure she took the length of my cock until I felt my head touch the back of her throat. Looking out the side window I saw a man smiling and looking in as he drove by. I realized that I was now driving 15 miles under the speed limit and swerving like a frat boy after homecoming.

As she lifted her head slowly off my crotch, my glistening wet cock was at full attention. With her lips hovering over it, she drooled over the head and smiled as her spit dripped down each side.

"Stroke your cock....Now!"

My hand immediately dropped into my lap; my fingers encircling my hardness. As I moved up and down I felt her fingers again gently touch the underside of my scrotum and testes.

"Faster dear, stroke it faster"

As I heeded her words, I felt the beginnings of my balls tightening, a sure sign of things to come.

"Good - I feel you getting closer. Keep stroking and let me see you swell"

Her grin resembled a Cheshire Cat as the pre-cum began to ooze and my breathing became short and shallow. She then bent back over, removed my hand and ran her tongue along the slit, tasting me.

"Mmmmm - That tastes wonderful. That will do for now"

And with that statement she placed me back inside my shorts and sat back in her seat, relaxed and proud of herself.

I, on the other hand, focused back on the road in front of me and worked to regain my composure. With my horniness now in the forefront of my mind, I glanced over to her and saw what I can only describe as contentment. A confident woman; happy with where she was today and excited about the future.

The next 23 hours and 37 minutes were going to be very interesting indeed!

" be continued..."

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Newleywed HNT (In Spirit)

I had planned on having a post-wedding HNT for today, but alas our "honeymoon" phase took care of that.

As I arrived home from school at 10:15pm last night, Babushka was laying in bed. I ask how her night is going and she says "nice but I have been waiting for you to uncover me". I pull back the comforter to find my lovely wife on her tummy, pillows underneath her pelvis and ass pointed high in the air.

Needless to say I did not take the time to grab the camera. Instead I will go back to the last set of photos - this one is my favorite. It provides a complete picture of why I get so horny when she dries her hair.

Happy HNT everyone

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

TMI Tuesday #192


1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?
KAHUNA: I cannot say that I would, now that I have experienced amazing love and sex

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex?
KAHUNA: Love (See what happens when you ask a newlywed)

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?
KAHUNA: None that I should have married. One that I definitely should not have (PB)

4. if you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?
KAHUNA: With Babushka

5. Which is more important sex, money, love and happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)
KAHUNA: Happiness (created by Love) - see what I did there :-)

Sunday, June 21, 2009


The Watch doesn't lie.....
Babushka was Beautiful - She held my hand gently and lovingly....
As our love blossoms together....

Saturday, June 20, 2009


Who would have thought 2 1/2 years ago when this blog started


Talk about gettin' busy livin'!?!?!

Hopefully after all the festivities we can actually get busy as well :-)

I love my Babushka and look forward to spending the rest of our lives together.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

TMI #190 and HNT and 6/20

First off I would like to thank all of you who welcomed us back to the HNT team. I cannot guarantee we will participate every single week but will do our best to be more 'regular'. I did mean to thank each of you personally but have been busy planning a wedding...........................FOR BABUSHKA AND I.

Yes - we will be getting married on June 20th. A simple ceremony with my family in from TX and her family from the WAY northern tundra as well as VA. We are thrilled and looking forward to our life together.

No honeymoon planned but will likely take a belated one later in the year - Hey Vixen, would you recommend H-II :-)

Now on to the task at hand....TMI

Have you ever...

1. had sex with someone ten years older or younger than you?
Babushka is 9 1/2 years younger

2. drawn from a nude model or been a nude model?
I must say the world is a better place that I can answer No - although I did model men's "lingerie" when I was young (and thin)

3. had sex at a company Christmas party?
Not a big fan of this tradition

4. had a blind date?
Yes - I did in my single days in Maui but none were particularly memorable

5. slept with a teacher?
Not that I know of and never one of mine

Bonus (as in optional): had sex with someone within an hour of meeting them?
Wanna meet in an hour and find out :-)

Thanks everyone and have a great TMI Tuesday!!!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

HNT - Return from the Dead

It seems like a lifetime ago that Babushka and I were participating on a regular basis. Life has just seemed to have been too crazy lately, but we do miss everyone.

Below is one of my favorite morning sites - Babushka drying her hair. It almost makes me look forward to going to work :-)

Have a great HNT Thursday!!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

TMI Tuesday #189 - Dating edition

1. What was the last movie you saw on a date?
  • KAHUNA - Babushka and I tend to watch movies as 'at home' dates - Theaters tend to be with kids. The last I recall is Vicky Christine Barcelona (and it was dreadful)

2. What was the last meal you had on a date?
  • KAHUNA - That would be Sunday Brunch at the St. Paul Hotel last weekend

3. When was the last time you made out in the car on a date? More?
  • KAHUNA - Babushka and I 'make out' per se in the car quite a bit. She did mastturbate for me in the car last weekend as well (It was a great weekend!)

4. Using a dating websites do you think you are more likely to find a "hook up" or a relationship?
  • KAHUNA - Neither

5. Do you have any special "first" date rituals? Flowers, certain restaurant, ect.
  • KAHUNA - On dates, Babushka expects (and I demand) that I will always open the car door for her. That is how we differentiate a date vs. everyday together.

BONUS QUESTION: Do you believe in sex on the first date? Can a relationship bloom if you have sex on the first date?
  • KAHUNA -Our 'official' first date was six weeks after I was separated. Truth be told we ended up having sex for the first time somewhere within that six week period. The relationship has bloomed beautifully since then.

Happy TMI Everyone!!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Date Weekend

Babushka and I were able to get away for the weekend. We traveled all of 20 miles from the suburbs to the big cities but it was as if we were 1000 miles away:
  • No work
  • No school
  • No kids
  • No dogs
  • No exes
And no excuses to not experience a few new things, such as:
  • Phantom of the Opera
  • 5-Star Hotel
  • 5-Star Restaurant
  • Top-Rated Gentleman's Club
  • Kama Sutra Body Souffle
  • Non-toxic Butt Plug
It was a wonderfully intimate and romantic yet naughty time together. I have to admit what I will remember most favorably is the look on Babushka's face as she received her first lap expression of joy with her grin a mile wide and one word - WOW!

We are both blessed to have found one another and love each other

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'
Pretty good weekend if I do say so myself

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

May..........."May you what?"

It feels like forever since blogging was a significant part of my life. It is one of the many things that has changed in the last few months, since Babushka and I became one family. Between the chaos of three teenagers, school and a computer hard-drive failure, there has been little time to blog and no time to participate in TMI/HNT. I still swing by and read when I can , trying to keep up with the adventures of D, V, VK, B and G to name a few. These are ladies I truly admire and try my best to read even if I cannot comment.

I have been a bit overwhelmed with work and life lately. I was reflecting with Babushka about this and how I was in a way missing the 'good ol' days'. Going from daily dating to a true life together is so much much more work. It can be scary to open up completely all of who you are with someone else. When other insecurities about jobs and kids and ex-wives come into play a mind can play tricks on oneself. One (like me) can become concerned that the challenges of life life will make the most beautiful woman you have ever met finally wake up and question if this is really what she wants out of life.

One of the best things about our relationship is that during these times of internal strife I can talk to Babushka about them and she does not judge me or immediately jump to a conclusion that I am unhappy with her. Like any man in love, I want my Babushka to have only good, no bad....only joy, no sorrow...only peace, no strife. I can pressure my self into thinking that I have failed if I do not deliver all of these things.

Then I get an email from her that simply reminds me............
  • Why I fell in love with her
  • Why I am still madly in love with her
  • Why I anticipate every kiss from her
  • Why her every smile lifts my heart
  • Why I look forward to marrying her (once I get the courage to ask)
  • Why I am at ease knowing I will die by her side (many, many years from now)
Sometimes when 'life' gets busy, we can lose sight of our blessings. As I close my office door and wipe the tears from my face, I am once again reminded how the joy she has given me is much greater than any I have ever felt or likely deserved.

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'

I Love You Babushka :-)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

April is the cruellest month - T.S. Eliot

I have no idea what that means but it has been a month of intensity, which in turn has led to no blogging. Babushka and I are settling into our new life with the three kids and puppy from hell (I love him but he is just in that "chew everything to shreds" stage).

There have been many challenges over the last month as we become a family unit. Living in the same home full time is different then "staying at each others' house all the time". For those who know - you cannot describe it until you do it. Babushka and I have had a couple times where we have been less than thrilled with each other for one reason or another (like my being appalled over the fact that middle son had eaten ALL the hot dog buns - Call the cops!). We have done a great job (IMHO) of treating each other with respect and consideration given all the stresses going on.

What I am aware of is the fact that my life is busy, much busier than perhaps my lovely Babushka had been ready for. With 50+ hours of work, MBA class and homework, teenagers to shuttle to and from events, recovery meetings to attend, meeting with my sponsor and the people I sponsor in recovery - it can lead to less time for my beautiful babushka than I would wish.

I had to call her today and let her know how much I appreciate her for who she is and what she means to me. We have a beautiful house with fun neighbors and a life I always dreamed of.

Without Babushka none of this would be of value - I love you sweetie.

Monday, March 23, 2009

What exactly do I "control"?

Life keeps reminding me that the answer to that is usually "not as much as you think" and then when I understand that the more detailed answer is "even less than that".

Working from home today as I had a bit of a headache. Long week/weekend with ups and downs but many reminders of my powerlessness over others behaviors and reactions. Hell, I seem to be powerlessness over my own behaviors and reactions too often.

I have really tried to keep this a place where I don't participate in the too often seen on other blogs "My ex-wife is a bitch" rant. All situations have differing viewpoints and one is never the gospel truth over the other. I am just tired of always getting new correspondence from her atty to mine about things she could have simply asked me about or are just not reasonable. The latest being a dispute over $340 from last September (School supplies) that she now implies means that I am late in my support payments and she is going to claim both kids on her taxes, even though the decree says we split them and I have already filed my taxes. Saying this will gain her $3,000 on her filing and invalidate mine, she has said we can avoid the whole thing if I just pay her $3,000 - What The Fuck!
  • She gets 50% of my net income plus all of her income and I have paid her early every month
  • She gets 40% of any annual bonus I were ever to get while she keeps 100% of hers
  • She kept the house (that could not be sold) and EVERY SINGLE ITEM in the house that is mortgaged in my name alone
  • I pay 1/2 the association fee and external maintenance on a house I do not live at
  • She kept the newer car that had the loan in my name alone
  • I pay 1/2 of all activity fees and 2/3 of all medical bills
  • I paid 70% of my income during the 2+ years we were separated so that all the home bills were paid while I lived in a basement with no windows.

I have always paid on time (before time) and still paid for haircuts and clothes for the kids because she tells them to ask me to. I look at some of the ex-husbands on some of the blogs I read like Shibari or deadbeat fathers like Babushka had to deal with. I am not looking for a medal just a realization for PB that I am doing my part with our kids and with her.

I have admitted 100 times over that I was not the greatest husband and apologized over and over. I have accepted my part but left because of an inability to forgive me - I get that and can live with that.

But when is it enough - when is it that PB will finally be able to move on and no longer feel the need to make sure "I don't get away with hurting her"

I do not control that, but I fear that day will never come. I do not like what this does to the kids or to Babushka, but I cannot drop to her level - they need a role model and so do I.

Glad I have role models that walk through tough times with dignity and grace.

I love you Babushka!! Thanks for being such a wonderful role model

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Life Continues Without Us...

Babushka and I are in our new house going on two weeks now and finally are fully-internet-functional. While there are many wonderful updates to write about I was touched by two recent posts I read today by a couple of bloggers we follow who I wanted to catch up on.

Dana posted Sunday about a secret of hers that must have elicited some unflattering comments. This prompted our favorite Biscuit to express her support and disclose her own past struggles. The correspondence and support have continued in a manner that shows the absolute best in people. It caused me to reflect on the happiness I now have within me and who I am today, as this was not the way it always was.

This blog started as I was beginning the walk away from the years of shame I lived. Dana's secret spoke to me at a number of personal levels - not just the inner pain we feel but the insanity around how others 'interpret' what we do or why we do it - the intensity of shame. The absolute frustration when those who are supposed to love you JUST DON"T GET IT!

I used alcohol and pornography to escape my shame, yet every time I did either my shame just grew. The immediate short-term relief of self came at a cost - breaking the bounds of my own morality. A loss of morality that led me to break commandments and then struggle to justify those decisions and finally go back to the medicating activity that caused me so much emotional harm, just to help me forget that my justifications did not stand up to the light.

I am blessed today with a life that has something that I once did not have - Hope. Hope that I could be loved by others and worthy of love by myself. I was told many years ago in therapy that until I had hope that I would continue to struggle, and I did.

I am neither promoting and decisions for others or pretending to know what the 'right answer' is for them. I simply read those posts and it brought back to me (in the middle of my office) the agony I used to live with every day.

Anyone who has lived with this knows that anyone will do nearly anything to stop feeling that loneliness. Those who have never felt it will never understand.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Moving but not getting anywhere

That is how it feels - at least regarding the internet. After 3 appointments with the cable company we finally had to move on to plan B - Dish Network and DSL.

Hopefully by Thursday Babushka and I will be back and rearing to go - We are enjoying the house!!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Just a Letter

This is a blog of gratitude. The only time I panic is when I think too much. Yesterday, when work was slow, and many were out, I started to think. . .

What if we are wrong?

What if this doesn't work?

What if we are kidding ourselves that we can succeed?

What if I am subconsciously doing this to myself, wanting to sabotage the best thing that has ever happened to me?

Being there the last hour and 1/2 basically by myself, no calls coming in at all, really made me hyper-focus. The end of the work day came. I cried all the way to get BuddyLuv. We loaded the truck with most of the remaining boxes. He was so excited, I didn't share with him my fears. I just let him talk.

On top of that, I panic when I get to the new home and realize I don't have the slightest idea how to get from where I am to the basement where you are. . .

Then. . .

I see you. And, although I do not forget those thoughts, they pass. As I have said before, everything is just a little bit easier when you are around.

It was 1:40 a.m. when I awoke. I had another nightmare. But, the funny thing is, once I was able to wake myself up, I smiled. Why?

What if we are wrong? So what? If we are wrong, and I have faith that we are not, we will have spent the most beautiful moments together. I have no doubt that, if we are wrong, the moment will have been worth being wrong in the end.

What if this doesn't work? So what? Again, if we are, I would never give up the "right" because in the end we are "wrong".

What if we are kidding ourselves that we can succeed? So what? I refuse to allow fears of what if to run my life anymore than they have to!

What if I am subconsciously doing this to myself, wanting to sabotage the best thing that has ever happened to me? I will not do this. Instead, I will take a leap of faith and enjoy the happiness of the best thing that has ever happened to me!

Thank you, Kahuna. Thank you for being you and thank you for everything.

Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'?
I choose life.

Friday, February 20, 2009

114 Hours

114 Hours Until we have our home!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

TMI #174 - Kahuna

1. What is your favorite charity? Do you you give your time or just money to that charity?
I am not a real fan of giving to charity - perhaps it is my overly skeptical nature. Every year our company has a United Way pledge drive and my boss is never happy that I am the one leader who will not participate. I prefer to give my time and financial resources to individuals whom are in need.

2. Describe your bed. What side do you sleep on?
Right now I sleep on my futon in the basement I rent but in 4 weeks I will be sleeping in the right side of a bed with my wonderful Babushka

3. How important is a partners kissing ability?
Babushka is such a wonderful kisser that I take it for granted, but the ability for a person to convey affection in their kiss is very important to me.

4. Have you ever "taken advantage" of a person under the influence of alcohol? Have you ever been "taken advantage" of while under the influence of alcohol?
Back in my single days in Maui, I would need to answer affirmative to both sides of the question. Sadly alcohol had much too much influence on all behaviors in my life early on.

5. Ever tried to replay the famous scene from From Here to Eternity? How was it?
Not intentionally, but reflecting back on #4 there was a time or two where a trip to the beach occurred.

Bonus (as in optional): What kind of birth control do you use?
The big V for me.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy VDay

Hugs and Kisses
Loving Wishes
to All!
Happy Valentine's Day

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

TMI #173 - Kahuna

1. What do you think is the un-sexiest part of the body?
I cannot really think of one for a woman (Babushka) - perhaps the inside of the nose?

2. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?
Under....but it does amaze me that people actually care

3. Have you ever called in sick to stay in bed with a sexual partner?
Not that I can recall, although Babushka and I did just talk about this yesterday morning, but we are just too darn dependable.

4. Did your parents have a "birds & bees" talk with you? Id so, at what age?
Not really - I think my dad hoped his 3-year supplies of Playboy and Gallery magazines would do the job.

5. What is one thing a someone could do to you to rock your world?
Babushka already knows, but anal stimulation right before I cum makes me explode (not literally but you know what I mean).

Bonus (as in optional):What does sex mean to you?
It sounds sappy, but sex to me is intimately sharing my physical and spiritual self with the woman I love.

Monday, February 9, 2009

So much to say - so little time :-)

Life is just moving at full speed! babushka sold her house (a great relief) and we need to get her moved by the end of the month. Babushka and I have an accepted purchase offer to buy a home!!

A little over two weeks ago we were stressed over being able to find a place to rent - we turned it over to our higher power (OK - my higher power / her God) and 17 days later we are buying a beautiful home. There is a 3-week period where all of us will be in my 'basement' which will be interesting - we will be a close family!!!! BuddyLuv will be changing schools sooner than we had initially planned but he seems genuinely excited about it.

We went looking at all the stuff for a new house (blinds, appliances, etc.) which was just so much fun. Then we went and looked at engagement rings, which turned into less fun. This is a delicate issue for us that I think both Babushka and I try to have humor with one another about, but there are underlying fears and expectations. I am proud of us that we do not try to ignore it when it comes up. It is an area of growth that both of us can continue to explore our feelings/viewpoints about and what has occurred in our pasts to develop the different ways we look at marriage and what things are important to one another. I am confident that together we can overcome.

You know - We have been so neglectful of our blog the last few months. I was thinking today I do miss the regular participation in TMI, HNT and other things. I was reading a few of the 'naughty meme's' that circulated this weekend and realize I also miss the sexual side of our blog as well. I am reminded of the saying 'those who talk about sex aren't having it' and perhaps the reverse is true. Through all the stuff going on, we have been active - this weekend overly active!!! We ran the gamut of oral, anal, vaginal - the only thing we did not get to include were our toys, as they are packed for the move (much to my dismay). It just amazes me how wonderful sexuality can be when it is in its proper place - not the most important but a close 2nd or 3rd!!

Look forward to life getting little more calm by late spring, but I would not trade it for anyone else's life.

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'
'Just living the dream - Nick Bakay'

Saturday, February 7, 2009

6 weeks

6 weeks from today, we will be spending our first full day in our new home! Our home!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

If it looks too good to be true..........

So Babushka's home finally sold!!!!

This is exciting for so many reasons, not the least of which is that is signals another milestone in our lives becoming one. It also means we need to get serious about deciding where we are going to live.

The stress of uncertainty was being felt by both of us. The end result of this was that last week we just turned it over to our higher power to take care of - just have faith.

the perfect situation had seemed to fall into place just a couple days later, with us putting an offer in on a property that was perfect for us. Financing got approved and the offer was full price - this was really going to happen.....

To spare the long details, we felt that the listing agent was not telling the whole story and sure enough. The property title is held by one of those wonderful "we'll help you work with your lender" companies. Needless to say that this is no longer the sure transaction we thought......and all of this is out of our control.

It is frustrating when we do things the right way and situations outside our control have such influence. But such is life.

If this does not work out it simply means it was never supposed to. Yet that does not make it any less disappointing.

But I have the life I used to only dream of with the woman I love. It doesn't get any better than that!!!!!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Sleep, Faith, Peace

I got some deep sleep, have faith that we need to say out of the way and it will all work out. It is because of that, that I have peace.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

TMI Tuesday #171 - Movie Edition

1. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?
KAHUNA - I am so bad at remembering stuff but I know it was with Babushka (sorry sweetie)

2. What is your favorite movie theater snack?
KAHUNA - Fresh Popcorn with extra butter and salt (including the middle!)

3. Have you ever snuck in 'outside' food into a theater?
KAHUNA - Nothing major, just a little candy here and there

4. Have you ever made out in a theater?
KAHUNA - With my Babushka, although I am nit sure it would constitute "Making Out"

5. What is the 'farthest' you have gone in a theater?
KAHUNA - Not far enough, although I am sure it is on the "Bucket List" for Babushka and I to pursue.

Bonus (as in optional): What is one of your favorite movie sex scene?
KAHUNA - The movie "Jade" - Although I am not a huge fan of David Caruso I still remember his forceful backdoor scene with Linda Fiorintino to this day

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sick and tired of being,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

.............sick and tired.

Came home from statistics class feeling sick - I thought it was just the class itself but it ended up that I have gotten the 'crud' and it will it go away. Being the man (big ass baby) that I am (every man is) of course I won't do what Babushka asks of me, which is to just go to the doctor. I would rather make everyone else's life miserable - what is it with guys. The whole world should end because we are sick (and by the way it should).

God probably created Adam and said to himself "If I just leave him nothing will get done and he will keep bugging me!" Like I want to spend 2,000 years listening to this guy whine cause he doesn't feel good and therefore can't move 2 feet to get the remote". Just another example of why God made sure the really tough stuff were the responsibility of women :-)

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'
"Babushka............I am thirsty and don't feel good" (insert whiny tone here)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Fear of Regret

It is amazing what a strong motivator the fear of regret is for me.

Ya know those advertisers who use the "fire" rush or you will miss it method. I am their dream target audience. The fear of regret seems strong in me then most. I have always lived in fear of not getting a second chance. I have written about this before in other posts. I am getting better at being patient and accepting that the majority of things in life are out of my hands. But, that fear sometimes comes back.

We found a house a while back. Actually, it is more than a house. It is the kind of house that was used as reason to dislike the people who lived in it. After all, why did they need that big of a house. To show off? That was a vulgar display of wealth to me. Now, not that the house we found was THAT big. . . I think it was 3500sqf. But, you could fit two of my home inside this home. I fell in love with it. It was in a fancy neighborhood. I could see myself walking a fancy breed of dog down it's streets. For as much as I try to NOT have bad thoughts towards PB, it did cross my mind that this house is nicer and bigger than hers. For as much as she wanted to break Kahuna, this would be a visual that she did not.

This house was also about 25% over the max we wanted to spend on rent. It also had so many rooms, we would need to buy furniture for. And, I highly doubt, with all the woodwork, that we would even be allowed to have a dog.

Thank goodness, as quickly as those vein thoughts came on, they left. It is just a house. As nice as it is, it is just a house. When it comes down to it, I don't need or want a home like that. I want us, together, with as little debt as possible. We do not want to be house whores. We do not want to miss out on other things in life because we are maxed out on the place to live.

So, where does the fear of regret come into this. Kahuna was right. . . I was AFRAID that if we did not jump at this one, and make it work financially, we would not find a place with 4 bedrooms in the neighborhood we wanted to be in. I was afraid if we did not jump at it, we would end up living in the basement with him for a LONG time. I was afraid that it would cause a lot of extra stress as it would mean we would have to provide transportation to BuddyLuv, both to and from school. And, how were we going to do that if we both work day jobs?

But, patience. Today, we went to look at a home. It is funny, because things always seem to line up when they are meant to line up.

Kahuna rents right now. Kahuna's landlord (Landlord Husband) is going to be the landlord for a property of a friend whose job takes him out of the state indefinitely. The home? A 4 bedroom, 3 bath, pet allowing, paint allowing home in the right school district, 6 minutes away from the kids. The catch? 1) they are flexible, but would prefer not to move until the school year is over. 2) they are asking almost as much in rent as the BIG house.

#1 concern is already in motion towards resolution. Landlord Wife loves us. She reiterated that she would love to have us here until that place becomes available, if we decide to go for it. She thinks we are nice people, and enjoys interacting with us. In fact, she said she understands we would not want to. But, she would be happy to keep us on for the next two years (the amt of time they plan to continue to rent).

#2 concern is already in motion towards resolution. Landlord Husband has already shown the home owner comps. Without hesitation, homeowner has agreed to lowering the initial asking price to just 250 over our idea rent payment. The lowered rental asking is now just 100 away from the max we want to pay.

Landlord Husband said we would be the dream tenants for that home. And, if we go in offering only 50 more than our ideal rent payment, knowing that we are looking for a longer term lease, he can show that this is better in the long run for the home owner, because 1 month of it not being rented is over $150/mo loss for that year.

The home is perfect. But, there are other perfect homes out there. I would be very happy if this one works out. But, I am ok if it does not.

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'!
This is living and loving it!

Remember when, the dream

Remember when Pumpkin scared us by telling us she had a bad dream and she had a good dream. We were scared that I was part of the bad dream. Come to find out. . .

I had 1000 umbrellas. Someone broke in and broke my umbrellas. She and I teamed up to investigate who did it.

:-) I love her.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

TMI #170

1. Have you ever dated/married purely for money?
KAHUNA - Should have held out for cash the first time.

2. What is your type?
KAHUNA - Brunette with a beautiful smile, voluptuous body, kind and gentle heart........or I could just say Babushka and move along.

3. What is the best sex game you have ever played?
KAHUNA - Babushka and I will need to play a sex game some time.

4. Have you ever given or received an orgasm from a person whose last name you did not know?
KAHUNA - That would have to be way back in my Haight-Ashbury days (OK I am not quite that old). Actually I was never the type of 'player' where I would not have known the person's full name. There was once where I picked up a lead singer of a band and she took me to her place, but she was so boring and lousy in bed I left before having an orgasm.

5. Have you ever masturbated in front of a sexual partner?
KAHUNA - I loved Dana's answer to this (Does the partner have to be awake?) Yes I have and would love to see my partner cum while I watch.....Babushka?!??!

Bonus (as in optional):At what age do you think men and women reach their sexual peak? Do you think you have hit yours yet?
KAHUNA - Depends on a person's definition of 'peak' - spoken like a guy who may be past his, huh :-)
Physically it seems pretty well documented that for guys it is 18-25 and gals 30-37 or in those general age brackets. Emotionally it is much different though and depends on a frame of mind and how you feel toward your partner(s), not an age.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Here I was struggling with what to blog about, given I don't blog much lately and it always seems to be dull 'life' updates. Then I went and read Dana's Birds, Bees and Purity blog and got all opinionated and such (uh oh). Dana attended her churches healthy sexuality conference with her son. Brought back memories of taking Dude to this with his mom and the unrealistic expectations that goes along with it. What a waste of energy - all so a bunch of "Faithful to God one day a week every other month and all major holidays" parents can give themselves a false sense of security as they stick their head in the sand. These are the same folks that end up being appalled at all the other kids' behavior and proudly proclaiming their children don't behave like that.

Dana provide the 'Purity Pledge' that churches have kids sign - goes hand and hand with their abstinence only approach. I have to say I find the 'Purity Promise' list infuriating. How many of the parents having their kids sign this ridiculous document by these rules? "Mr. Smith - you think this list is so important to little Joey, how about you and the missus model that lifestyle for him - American Idol, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy are not considered God honoring shows." Guess what - even when you do not want your kids to see something (like the SAW movies) they see them at their friends house anyway.

I prefer to speak to my kids openly and honestly about what they hear and see, whether it be Family Guy, South Park or other "objectionable" material. Amazingly enough, my 11-year old daughter was able to decide/determine on her own that these are not appropriate for her and we discuss it. She is not an adult and I do not treat her as such but I do not pretend she is in 1st grade either.

Same with my 15 year old son. We talk about sex and drugs - even when he acts all embarrassed and grossed out with his dad. I discuss with him my challenges and mistakes I made at his age. Granted, many times it is not a discussion, more of me talking and him grimacing, but I do know some of it does sink in.

I hope it is this way with Babushka's 13 year old son, although I respect her view and would never take an approach with BuddyLuv that she was not comfortable with.

Being a teen today is tough with all the dangerous behaviors being glorified. I prefer to discuss these dangers in real terms in hopes that it helps him when faced with these tough choices. They still may make a bad choice, but at least he is not burdened with some unrealistic expectations placed on him by hypocritical adults whose words have been "you can't watch this or do this but leave the room so you don't see us doing it" which reinforces to all of these kids that it must be something fun and we should try and do it but never tell our parents about.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

TMI Tuesday #169 - Back to TMI Basics

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your sex life?
KAHUNA – I would definitely say 10 (or 9.5 if you subscribe to the notion that there is always room to grow)

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?
KAHUNA – To kiss Babushka back and the twist her around so that her back is up against the wall!!

3. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done or said to you?
KAHUNA – When Babushka told me I did not have to be perfect because I was perfect for her as I am.

4. Where is the most unusual place you have ever had sex?
KAHUNA – Everyone looks at unusual differently. When I was married and had my affair, I had sex in a car and in a park, but that is pretty common for an affair. With my beautiful Babushka it would have to be when she seduced me onto the floor of the basement bathroom in the middle of the night while the kids were sleeping.

5. How do you liked to be kissed?
KAHUNA – Long kisses with very soft lips

Bonus (as in optional):Most embarrassing sexual moment?
KAHUNA – Babushka and I are never embarrassed by anything that happens when we are being sexual. With that said, I get embarrassed when equipment decides at the most inopportune time that now is the time to not be fully cooperative.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Reflecting Back while Looking Forward

I was checking out Shibari's new site and read her very poignant reflection of her 2008. This made me slow down enough to realize that a solid inventory (4th step for those who are friends of Bill W) of the past year would not be a bad idea.

In reflecting back I must admit there have been some wonderful events that have transpired during the year that was:

Babushka and I:
The 'honeymoon' that was 2007 was replaced with a much more substantial yet satisfying 2008. In 2008 we faced true challenges toward one another - not fights but situations where one of us was emotionally challenged with the other yet we were able to talk them through our feelings and frustrations with respect of the other.

Babushka and I (and the rest of the brood)
2008 saw our families begin the process of integrating into a single unit, specifically Dude and Punkin. This process was one I was concerned with yet went as well as I could have possibly imagined. Punkin and BuddyLuv have become friends very quickly and enjoy each others' company on the weekends we are all together. Even Dude, in all of his 15-year old self absorbed glory, has been polite and accomodating during this time.

The long-awaited divorce:
After two long years there was a conclusion (sort of) with the divorce from PB. August saw the trial date arrive and a settlement finally become reality. Granted, this did not come without significant expense (emotional and financial). But after 24 months my desire to be done with this enabled me to make the tough decisions needed to bring this to resolution. As a result I have a house in my name that I do not live in with two mortgages solely in my name; a car I do not drive with an auto loan solely in my name; a house full of furniture, electronics and the like acquired over 15 years that was divided 100% for her and 0% for me. Even with all that - it has been well worth the cost given what I have been given in return (see two previous paragraphs).

I have more 2008 to review and expectations for 2009 to blog about but it is late now and Florida has wrapped up the BCS game. Dude and I can now go to bed.

Until tomorrow - take care and be blessed!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Remember When - Not Smothering Meant Missing Each Other

This past week, I offered to purposely NOT come down to Kahuna's this weekend. Every weekend since our first full night together, BuddyLuv and I have been down here at least one night. To show that I respect Kahuna's relationships with Dude and Pumpkin, I said we would stay away and give them some alone time. I know it is a thin line, being involved and being too involved, when it comes to situations like ours. I don't want to cross that line if I can help it at all!

Friday evening, before 7pm, BuddyLuv was already asking when we would see Kahuna, Dude, and Pumpkin again. Pumpkin was asking when they would see us again. By 7pm we had plans to meet at 10:30am the next morning.

I guess I shouldn't worry quite so much!

Remember when - Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve 2008. We were all together for the first time. I volunteered to wrap Dude's Christmas present for PB. I went downstairs. I brought it back up, completed with a bow and everything. He walked out of the bathroom. I asked if it looked ok. He took it, said it was beast, and gave me a hug. He hugged me! At 15, he hugged me!

That was a gift I never want to forget.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

2008 2009

With as many challenges as 2008 brought, it brought even more blessings and gifts. Thank you for an amazing year. I am excited to see what is in store for us in 2009.