Sunday, December 14, 2008

Its' been a week since my last confession......

It seems like life gets so crazy that the blog feels neglected. As we (I) prioritize our life with kids, work, school, extended family, holidays and the like the other simpler joys get left behind.

As with blogging, that is one of my hesitations regarding the 'M' word and all the fanfare of the event. Just like a brand new blog, all focus goes toward the 'blessed' day itself and life is consumed with that day.

The huge celebration with friends you rarely see anymore and family you do not like - everyone is on their best behavior and all smiles, waiting until the next week to talk 'trash' about this ugly centerpiece or that persons dress. My cynicism shows - my feelings toward Christmas are similar. The point of the day is Christ (Kahuna says knowing he is the antithesis of religious) , not who bought you what, why did you spend more on them than on me and all the stress with making sure food meant for 50 people (not the 10 you actually have) is done at relatively the same time as well as the inevitable arguing about dishes.

I love my Babushka and would rather spend my energy preparing for a lifetime with her, not an afternoon meant to impress everyone else. Obviously as all can see from my rant above, I have growth that needs to continue. I would never wish to deny my love of something so important to her.

I am simply afraid afraid. I do not want an artificial, superficial, arbitrary day to represent the 'celebration' of our life together.

I want our life as we live it together every singly day - the highs, lows and in betweens - to be that celebration.

Which one am I doing today?


Babushka said...

I love you, Kahuna! We will walk through this together. You and me.

I Smile 2 Much said...

(((Hugs & love))) to the both of you. Just wanted to letchu both know I was here an catching up on all your posts.

I've been more disorganized, inconsistent and haphazard than *normal* for me for a while now.....

And I think crying is absolutely & truly healing sometimes. I always want the best for the both of you ....

The two of you bring such a warm smile to my face every time. Continue to hold onto each other & love like you do~

*sweet smiles*

Love ya both~