Thursday, April 23, 2009

April is the cruellest month - T.S. Eliot

I have no idea what that means but it has been a month of intensity, which in turn has led to no blogging. Babushka and I are settling into our new life with the three kids and puppy from hell (I love him but he is just in that "chew everything to shreds" stage).

There have been many challenges over the last month as we become a family unit. Living in the same home full time is different then "staying at each others' house all the time". For those who know - you cannot describe it until you do it. Babushka and I have had a couple times where we have been less than thrilled with each other for one reason or another (like my being appalled over the fact that middle son had eaten ALL the hot dog buns - Call the cops!). We have done a great job (IMHO) of treating each other with respect and consideration given all the stresses going on.

What I am aware of is the fact that my life is busy, much busier than perhaps my lovely Babushka had been ready for. With 50+ hours of work, MBA class and homework, teenagers to shuttle to and from events, recovery meetings to attend, meeting with my sponsor and the people I sponsor in recovery - it can lead to less time for my beautiful babushka than I would wish.

I had to call her today and let her know how much I appreciate her for who she is and what she means to me. We have a beautiful house with fun neighbors and a life I always dreamed of.

Without Babushka none of this would be of value - I love you sweetie.


Dana said...

And you know that I know all too well the challenges you speak of. Things change - expectations change - but as long as the respect remains in tact y'all will be just fine!

Big Kahuna said...

Thanks Dana - I do know you know and always hope to read that things have improved in yours

vixen kitten said...

I truly believe the secret to happiness is appreciating what you do have. It sounds like you are on that road with letting your sweetie know how much you appreciate her, and this life you are building together.

My best wishes for the two of you for a life time filled with love, joy and happiness. Just keep doing what you are doing! Focus on the big picture and what you are buiilding, and those little things like AWOL buns will be just a bump in the journey of love.


Emma said...

This is completely not what you were talking about in your post but, because I'm a book nerd and I know this bit of trivia and like to look excessively brainy whenever I can, I'm going to share it anyway.

The quote in your subject is from T.S. Eliot's poem "The Waste Land," which is one of his most famous works (though, not my favorite) and considered by many to be his greatest.

The section that this quote comes from is about an Anglican burial service, with a girl named Marie recalling sledding with her cousins and coffee in the park in her youth, while her present is filled with complex emotional problems and war.

The memory is a confrontation that points out just how badly her life has decayed.

(In fact, depending on how you read it, Marie is actually herself a corpse decaying underground.)

The particular quote you used is a reference to the preamble of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales ("When fair April with his showers sweet / Has pierced the drought of March to the root's feet ...), and paints April as not the happy month of Chaucer's stories, but rather the time of painful regeneration, recalling a time of a more fertile and happier past.

But, given the topic of your post, I think the quote more than appropos, with April being the month of painful transition and restoration.

Just remember that the poem ends with the encouragement that even the most bewildered and desolate can create art in the face of madness and that new life and hope often springs from where the land that looks most dead.

~ E ~