Sunday, July 8, 2007

Cost / Benefit Analysis

My favorite Courtesan (Ex) was questioning her interest in or ability to fully engage in a relationship with her Loverman.

She was asking whether her profession had contributed to her questioning. Seems to me that all of our experiences (professional and person) contribute to our seeming inability to find or keep "True Love". Just look around you - Broken and/or unhappy relationships are all around. There are a whole lot more of these than there is "True Love".

"True Love" may be more of a conceptual ideal than anything tangible that can truly be attained. One would think that after a minimum of 2200 years we would have figured "True Love" out. Not a chance - if anything 21 centuries of practice have made us worse at it.

So knowing that we are not going to improve at finding or attaining "True Love", does it even make sense to try? Relationships are scary, frought with peril and historically more likely to fail than succeed. I know it can cross my mind, between my divorce that seems to have no end date and the budding relationship with Babushka.

But relationships seem like childbirth - The pain from one may make you swear up and down that you will never do it again. But the pain subsides over time. Then you see others who have them and you once again begin to long for that little baby again (child or adult). :-)

Do the benefits of a relationship outweigh the costs? Financially or logically the answer is a resounding NO. But there is that overriding part of being human that will always ignore logic. It has from the beginning of time and it will until our extinction.

I know this - When I hold Babushka in my arms and kiss her lips, there is no question that the benefits outweight the costs or the risks........There are some things that one cannot measure scientifically or statistically.

Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'
I did - and Denver was awesome for the 4th!!!


Gillette said...

Hm....thought I had commented here before but either I have halfheimers or blogger does.

Beautiful honoring of your woman, as always.

I'm thinking that my questioning thing will lead good places. Relationships are scary as because they are important, they are the greatest places of wounding. I'm thinking I will find my way back to being passionately and adoringly in love with him as I was well on my way to, and as I hear here with the two of you.

Babushka said...

Hello, Gillette~

Yes, my dear Kahuna honors me in more ways than I can count. He is an amazing man who would never be less than honorable or honoring of me. The beautiful thing is, I actually tell and show him that he makes me feel as he does. I think that is what sets us apart from most couples. As a close friend puts it, Kahuna and I have been through more in our time together than most couple go through in years. The only way we have made it is because we started out and have always remained transparent to one another. It is because we are so transparent that we can talk openly and honestly about our concerns, fears, dreams and prayers. Dreams and prayers are strong when shared. Concers and fears are less scarey and less of a burden. This bond, like nothing we have ever felt before, makes our hearts smile. It is amazing beyond words!