I wanted to cry.
It is 8:30. BuddyLuv's bedtime is 9:00. We have been working on homework since 6:30. It took almost an hour to get home in the blizzard. He still has so much to do, he will not be in bed on time. Friday I got an email from school. He was missing an important assignment. Ok, I can handle this. But then, I just got frustrated as I was thinking about the fact that I, ON A DAILY BASIS, check each teacher's assignment pages to make sure I know what he is supposed to do for the day. Then I thought about the fact that I, ON A DAILY BASIS, check the online access that shows current grades (and missing assignments). Then, I thought about the fact that I, ON A DAILY BASIS, check his planner to see if there are any highlighted items which indicate missing items. Then I thought about how many times I have contacted Brady's teachers to try and stay on top of things.
I wanted to cry.
The assignment pages are only updated for 2 of his 8 teacher's (One has not been updated since the first week of March). The planner has had one item highlighted this quarter. He has had 8 missing/late assignments. The online grades are updated in the teacher's free time.
I wanted to cry.
Finances are tight. I have been working so hard. I have had 2 days off in the last three months. I can handle that. Last week, I was so happy to see my checkbook end the way it did at the end of the month. I knew I was making progress. Today, out of the blue, I get a call asking for a rental reference. My renter is leaving. Not that that is a problem, he is rude and dis-respectful. I guess I should not expect anything more from him. I just think we deserve better. We "gave" so much to negotiate and allow him to move in. Holding the place for him without making him pay rent. . . Giving him an extra's month decreased rent due to the extra snow shoveling this winter. . . Not having a problem when his friends move in when it is a one bedroom. . . Allowing him to move stuff in early for him to leave where he was on time. . . Not saying anyting about how loud he is. . . When he tells us we are noisier than he expected (and not in a nice way) offering him a reduced notice if he wanted to move out with less than 30 days notice. . . And he cannot even give us a heads up that he is looking for a new place? Now what do I do? Search for ANOTHER renter? The first I had to evict after 6 months, the second moves back with her ex after a few months, the next is lonely and moves out after 2 months, he moves out after 2 months. 4 renters in 2 years? I cannot afford the stress of getting another renter in there. I cannot afford the finances of not. . .
I wanted to cry.
Kahuna had a good meeting with his attorney. He sounded confident and accepting when I talked to him. He is being so strong against so much!
I wanted to cry.
Kahuna started to face his anxiety over discussing his salary with me. I am so proud of him!
I wanted to cry.
On top of all of this, (in the last week or so) a relative died, I offered to help my gram as no one else would commit to staying with her through the wake/funeral and was told my assistance was not required, she has children who will take care of her. We were totally ignored by family at the wake. Kahuna got that motion from the Spoiled Princess. It was Kahuna's weekend to have the kids which meant a tough weekend apart. There was an attempted abduction short distance away from where BuddyLuv gets off the bus and walks by himself to my grandparents' home after school. Work stinks because I have now found myself in a good ol' boys club where I am the only one to actually perform our job function because my team mate and the new Senior (who have a past work relationship) are too busy talking about ways to make things better and what is wrong with our company now. I got sick and could not get my allergy shots last week, plus had to stay home with no voice.
I wanted to cry.
It is our weekend to be together. And, I have been so stressed out, frustrated and had a weak immune system thanks to my cold last week, I have now started an outbreak of herpes. It only happens when stress is REALLY high or I get sick. Nice. Attractive. I know.
I wanted to cry.
So, the reason that I get to write this is because Kahuna surprised us and showed up because he had a feeling we needed him today. He is out working with BuddyLuv on his homework. And, I can hear the stress in BuddyLuv's voice just disappearing. And, Kahuna's patience. . . Amazing. I am so blessed. Those sounds are sounds of joy to my ears.
I wanted to cry.
Kahuna spoke to his mother yesterday. She has never met me. But, she has seen pictures and heard the passion is his voice when he talks about me. She sends her love to me. She cannot wait to see me.
I wanted to cry.
I am so blessed. At the end of the day, even if I don't have rainy day savings, I do not have debtors at my doorstep. Even if I am barely making the house payments, I am making the house payments. Even if I have an outbreak, Kahuna loves/adores me and wants to hold me close. I am not ugly to him. Even if we struggle with homework, we can read and write and have all of our senses working wonderfully. Even if we have stress, we have everything we have ever dreamed of that truly matters.
Tears are of joy.
I am so blessed. And, to all of you who send well wishes, thoughts and prayers to Kahuna in this time of trial, thank you. You are not just strangers, you are friends, for whom we are thankful.
Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'?
I love this crazy, tragic,Sometimes almost magic, Awful, beautful life!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
We must love ourself before we can love others
It has been a long time since I have blogged /journaled just to clear my mind. It has been a rough week for me emotionally and spiritually.
There was an old behavior pattern of running away that came up early in the week. I was uncomfortable with the behavior of Babushka's BuddyLuv, and my impulse was to simply leave to avoid confrontation or unpleasant conversation. The look of abandonment in Babushka's eyes got me out of this state and made me realize what I was doing. That alone was enough to bring me back to where I want to be - transparent to her. We were able to have a very long and meaningful discussion. We did not have to spend a night angry at one another. I am so grateful for that.
The next day another old behavior pattern reappeared Tuesday night- masturbation to dull and numb the emotional pain I was feeling. It was yet another difficult work day followed by another difficult divorce day. At 10:00pm, after logging out from working at home I masturbated when I had told myself earlier in the day I did not want to. That is an addictive response from my past. I was able to discuss this with Babushka and then my sponsor and strengthen my boundaries during this vulnerable time.
I now know that these activities were part of my Higher Power's plan, as yesterday my floor fell out. After 19 months of paying 75% of my income for the ex to live (mortgages, utilities, auto) while renting a basement room, I filed a motion for relief, as she was making no progress in finding a job and her attorney would not answer any requests of our to meet and discuss a settlement. I could not afford to continue this, as I am going in debt and would like to eventually live somewhere that my kids can actually feel like a permanent place.
I received her response to my motion, which was a scathing 26-page response recapping every mistake I have made in the last 15 years. I own my mistakes but am always amazed that some people can absolve themselves of any responsibility in anything. it is easier for some to always be the victim. Reading that old history over and over again brought waves of past shame and embarrassment flooding back.
Secondly, she stated that I am an uninvolved parent, not wanting to spend time with them or making them a priority. That in its absolute absurdity was just that much more painful, as I can imagine a judge is going to believe the "victim" over the "perpetrator", per se. I have lived in a basement room for 19 months, with my kids sleeping on camping mattresses next to me when they stay with me. That is why they don't have their friends over, not because I am so uninvolved that I won't take the initiative. I fucking hate how people can manipulate circumstances to fit what they want to promote.
She has asked the court for 50% of my gross income as net to her (so that is almost 80%) in alimony plus an additional 15% for child support. Instead of 'relief', I am now facing a possibility that virtually every dime I make will be garnished directly to her, a house and car awarded to her for the next 8 years even though I am the sole responsible party for all the debts associated with these. All this because she is angry that I left her. 26 pages of why I am a complete and total asshole, derelict, incomprehensible jerk and deserve nothing - and yet the brunt of her spite is because I left, telling her I would never be able to attain sobriety if I stayed with her. Don't get me wrong, she is not made I left because she wanted me, she just wanted to keep her house, her car, her lifestyle of not having to work a 'real' job like the rest of us.
By damned she will kick and scream to keep it, oblivious to the long term implications to the father of her kids. Funny how when people proclaim at to everyone that will listen that it is not about them, this is for the (insert kids, family, less fortunate or American People here). It is always selfishly and singularly about them.
It has been a truly painful 48 hours, but it has been sober from alcohol, masturbation and all things addictive. I can face the pain and I have friends who care for me and a Babushka who truly loves me, not my checkbook. I talked to my sponsor about this, as I shared the motion with Babushka. I feel so embarrassed about what I make at work, when I see how hard she works at two jobs. Yet I have nothing to show for it - it goes to the unending appetite of a person for whom it was never enough and it never will be enough. When one is 'entitled' due to the 'injustice' they have had to endure, it never is enough.
Everything that matters to me is what I have. Children who know I love them. True, intimate friendships with others who know me like I never thought anyone would. Shared love with the woman of my dreams, just like you see in the movies. Sobriety that can endure any challenge, obstacle or opportunity that life wishes to present.
I have my life.................... finally.
I am blessed indeed
There was an old behavior pattern of running away that came up early in the week. I was uncomfortable with the behavior of Babushka's BuddyLuv, and my impulse was to simply leave to avoid confrontation or unpleasant conversation. The look of abandonment in Babushka's eyes got me out of this state and made me realize what I was doing. That alone was enough to bring me back to where I want to be - transparent to her. We were able to have a very long and meaningful discussion. We did not have to spend a night angry at one another. I am so grateful for that.
The next day another old behavior pattern reappeared Tuesday night- masturbation to dull and numb the emotional pain I was feeling. It was yet another difficult work day followed by another difficult divorce day. At 10:00pm, after logging out from working at home I masturbated when I had told myself earlier in the day I did not want to. That is an addictive response from my past. I was able to discuss this with Babushka and then my sponsor and strengthen my boundaries during this vulnerable time.
I now know that these activities were part of my Higher Power's plan, as yesterday my floor fell out. After 19 months of paying 75% of my income for the ex to live (mortgages, utilities, auto) while renting a basement room, I filed a motion for relief, as she was making no progress in finding a job and her attorney would not answer any requests of our to meet and discuss a settlement. I could not afford to continue this, as I am going in debt and would like to eventually live somewhere that my kids can actually feel like a permanent place.
I received her response to my motion, which was a scathing 26-page response recapping every mistake I have made in the last 15 years. I own my mistakes but am always amazed that some people can absolve themselves of any responsibility in anything. it is easier for some to always be the victim. Reading that old history over and over again brought waves of past shame and embarrassment flooding back.
Secondly, she stated that I am an uninvolved parent, not wanting to spend time with them or making them a priority. That in its absolute absurdity was just that much more painful, as I can imagine a judge is going to believe the "victim" over the "perpetrator", per se. I have lived in a basement room for 19 months, with my kids sleeping on camping mattresses next to me when they stay with me. That is why they don't have their friends over, not because I am so uninvolved that I won't take the initiative. I fucking hate how people can manipulate circumstances to fit what they want to promote.
She has asked the court for 50% of my gross income as net to her (so that is almost 80%) in alimony plus an additional 15% for child support. Instead of 'relief', I am now facing a possibility that virtually every dime I make will be garnished directly to her, a house and car awarded to her for the next 8 years even though I am the sole responsible party for all the debts associated with these. All this because she is angry that I left her. 26 pages of why I am a complete and total asshole, derelict, incomprehensible jerk and deserve nothing - and yet the brunt of her spite is because I left, telling her I would never be able to attain sobriety if I stayed with her. Don't get me wrong, she is not made I left because she wanted me, she just wanted to keep her house, her car, her lifestyle of not having to work a 'real' job like the rest of us.
By damned she will kick and scream to keep it, oblivious to the long term implications to the father of her kids. Funny how when people proclaim at to everyone that will listen that it is not about them, this is for the (insert kids, family, less fortunate or American People here). It is always selfishly and singularly about them.
It has been a truly painful 48 hours, but it has been sober from alcohol, masturbation and all things addictive. I can face the pain and I have friends who care for me and a Babushka who truly loves me, not my checkbook. I talked to my sponsor about this, as I shared the motion with Babushka. I feel so embarrassed about what I make at work, when I see how hard she works at two jobs. Yet I have nothing to show for it - it goes to the unending appetite of a person for whom it was never enough and it never will be enough. When one is 'entitled' due to the 'injustice' they have had to endure, it never is enough.
- What do I have left to take?
- What do I have to offer anyone?
- What do I have?
Everything that matters to me is what I have. Children who know I love them. True, intimate friendships with others who know me like I never thought anyone would. Shared love with the woman of my dreams, just like you see in the movies. Sobriety that can endure any challenge, obstacle or opportunity that life wishes to present.
I have my life.................... finally.
I am blessed indeed
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
TMI
Hello! I am back again today for TMI. . . But don't forget to read my other entry, k?
1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave?
B ABUSHKA - Beautiful! Both! I love Kahuna's stubble and love Kahuna's smooth skin! How often do I shave? Not enough. I feel really bad for Kahuna because it should be but is not a priority for me. Luckily, I have very fine, thin hairs on my legs.
2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?
BABUSHKA - Ohh La La!
3. Did you ever own a fake ID?
BABUSHKA - Nope.
4. Have you ever played a game which may require you or others to disrobe?
BABUSHKA - Nope.
5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain?
BABUSHKA - :-( Noop!
Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about your last boyfriend/girlfriend?Happy TMI everyone!
See here.
1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave?
B ABUSHKA - Beautiful! Both! I love Kahuna's stubble and love Kahuna's smooth skin! How often do I shave? Not enough. I feel really bad for Kahuna because it should be but is not a priority for me. Luckily, I have very fine, thin hairs on my legs.
2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?
BABUSHKA - Ohh La La!
3. Did you ever own a fake ID?
BABUSHKA - Nope.
4. Have you ever played a game which may require you or others to disrobe?
BABUSHKA - Nope.
5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain?
BABUSHKA - :-( Noop!
Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about your last boyfriend/girlfriend?Happy TMI everyone!
See here.
Divorce - I could really use your help!
Where do I start? Help! Help me help Kahuna.
We are in a terribe spot. We do not want to make things worse. But, how do we know what the right thing to do is!?!
The divorce has been on at some level for over a year and a half. We have no end in site. We don't even have a clue as to when that end will be in site. We cannot even get an answer as to why we do not have a date. Seems the attorney is too busy. This after she show up to the WRONG location for a pre-trial.
We cry weekly about this. Kahuna has a terrible feeling in his gut that in the end, he will be fucked beyond his worst nightmares.
And still, no answers because the attorney is too busy.
This morning we talked about the option of finding a new attorney. He said that he had found a firm during his initial search that concentrates on fathers rights. But, he went with this one because of a reference (I think).
But, do are the delays and starting over worth it? Are attorney seriously so money hungry that they can and do take on more than they can handle, stringing people along and giving crappy slow service so that they can rack up their charges? Can an attorney be sued for being a crappy attorney?
Meanwhile, the princess bitch sits up in her castle with all the emeneties I have never even considered necessary, driving the two year old $500/mo car watching her extensive cable package, talking on 1 of the 3 family blackberry devices and waiting for the perfect (non crap) job that is not beneath her to come knocking on the door, all courtesy of Kahuna who has been advised that he cannot end any services or she will claim he is causing hardship to the children.
So, does anyone have any advice? Thoughts? Similiar experiences?
He filed for a temp stay of relief. The trial is 4/4. But, there is another 90 days before the judge has to give a response to that. So, what, that puts us at 2 years of waiting for the final TRIAL DATE scheduling? How can that be?
Kahuna, we will be ok. We will make it. I have faith in your making the decision that is right for you and for us. Hopefully, putting this out there will get some ideas or thoughts we have missed.
PS. To anyone willing to link to this particular blog so we can get as much assistance as possible, I would be forever grateful.
We are in a terribe spot. We do not want to make things worse. But, how do we know what the right thing to do is!?!
The divorce has been on at some level for over a year and a half. We have no end in site. We don't even have a clue as to when that end will be in site. We cannot even get an answer as to why we do not have a date. Seems the attorney is too busy. This after she show up to the WRONG location for a pre-trial.
We cry weekly about this. Kahuna has a terrible feeling in his gut that in the end, he will be fucked beyond his worst nightmares.
And still, no answers because the attorney is too busy.
This morning we talked about the option of finding a new attorney. He said that he had found a firm during his initial search that concentrates on fathers rights. But, he went with this one because of a reference (I think).
But, do are the delays and starting over worth it? Are attorney seriously so money hungry that they can and do take on more than they can handle, stringing people along and giving crappy slow service so that they can rack up their charges? Can an attorney be sued for being a crappy attorney?
Meanwhile, the princess bitch sits up in her castle with all the emeneties I have never even considered necessary, driving the two year old $500/mo car watching her extensive cable package, talking on 1 of the 3 family blackberry devices and waiting for the perfect (non crap) job that is not beneath her to come knocking on the door, all courtesy of Kahuna who has been advised that he cannot end any services or she will claim he is causing hardship to the children.
So, does anyone have any advice? Thoughts? Similiar experiences?
He filed for a temp stay of relief. The trial is 4/4. But, there is another 90 days before the judge has to give a response to that. So, what, that puts us at 2 years of waiting for the final TRIAL DATE scheduling? How can that be?
Kahuna, we will be ok. We will make it. I have faith in your making the decision that is right for you and for us. Hopefully, putting this out there will get some ideas or thoughts we have missed.
PS. To anyone willing to link to this particular blog so we can get as much assistance as possible, I would be forever grateful.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
It has been waaay tooo long.....
......Since I/we have posted anything other than TMI Tuesday. Definitely too long since we have posted for HNT but my camera is put away (in between residences right now). This has been the first time in a while that I have been able to go to some blogs of yore and read (btw - Happy Birthday Stealth!).
In catching up I came across a virgin.....well, not exactly but she speaks virgin. She posted at Obasso's site and I must say her St. Patty's Day girls reminded me of Babushka. I was reading some of her older posts and this one rang a bell for the last week with my lovely Babushka.
BuddyLuv is gone for spring break so Babushka and I have been 'Home Alone' and damn if I am not tired from all the sex, sex, sex!! Virgin was saying that she may just kill the poor guy she ends up with....or his cock may fall off. I can relate (not complaining at all). I have my kids tonight so we are not together, but she already called to let me know she is dreading no sex tonight before bed......or my rolling on her at 2:00am to fuck her........or my rolling on her at 4:00am to fuck her.......or the early morning oral orgasm I love her to have on my tongue before work.
She always says that I will get frustrated with her cause' she is so spoiled....expecting sex all the time from me.
Funny - I do not feel frustrated!!
Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'
.....at least get shaggin'
In catching up I came across a virgin.....well, not exactly but she speaks virgin. She posted at Obasso's site and I must say her St. Patty's Day girls reminded me of Babushka. I was reading some of her older posts and this one rang a bell for the last week with my lovely Babushka.
BuddyLuv is gone for spring break so Babushka and I have been 'Home Alone' and damn if I am not tired from all the sex, sex, sex!! Virgin was saying that she may just kill the poor guy she ends up with....or his cock may fall off. I can relate (not complaining at all). I have my kids tonight so we are not together, but she already called to let me know she is dreading no sex tonight before bed......or my rolling on her at 2:00am to fuck her........or my rolling on her at 4:00am to fuck her.......or the early morning oral orgasm I love her to have on my tongue before work.
She always says that I will get frustrated with her cause' she is so spoiled....expecting sex all the time from me.
Funny - I do not feel frustrated!!
Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dyin'
.....at least get shaggin'
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
TMI #126 - Not for the faint of heart
1). Is sex hotter for you when it’s forbidden? Or do you get wracked with guilt and it’s not enjoyable?
KAHUNA – Depends on the definition of forbidden. Based on the guilt angle I would assume the inference is an affair or such, in which case the ongoing guilt outweighs any pleasure of the activity itself.
BABUSHKA - Very good answer, my dear. Forbidden according to whom? The only "forbidden" sex I can think of involves those who cannot answer for themselves (children/animals/those incapable of making such decisions, etc) or sex that hurts your partner (affairs). Those types of sex would not be enjoyable or hot.
2). Are casual sexual encounters fulfilling to you? Do you need an emotional commitment from your partner for sex to be fulfilling?
KAHUNA – Again, fulfilling can be many things, but I find that the emotional commitment and connection I have with Babushka allows me to feel safe, relax and get my freak on!!!.
BABUSHKA - In my personal opinion and experience, casual sexual encounters are the least fulfulling! I once wanted to live the strong, sex in the city life. It hurt. I am now in the most amazing, emotionally, spiritually and intimately committed relationship I have ever been in. And, it feels beyond words.
3). Do you think that with all of the online dating sites that cater to every fetish and desire and places like craigslist that it’s more difficult to make a commitment and/or stay committed to your partner?
KAHUNA – Not at all
BABUSHKA - Not at all.
4). Have you ever joined or participated in an online dating site? If not, would you ever consider it? What about a fetish site, such as alt.com?
KAHUNA – I have never joined an online service. I have never been to alt.com or anything like that but I would visit it with my Babushka, although I do not see joining being something we would do.
BABUSHKA - I have used 3 services. And, have very little good to say about them. . . I will have to write about it sometime. I have never relaly been to a fetish site. I would like to see one, sometime. But, I cannot see spending money on it.
5). What is the weirdest fetish you've heard of?
KAHUNA – Everyone’s “weirdest’ is different. The internet is full of fetishes weirder than the previous weirdest.
BABUSHKA - I try not to judge. "Wierd" is so subjective. But, as long as #1 is followed, go at it and be happy!
Bonus (as in optional): The definition of 'fetish' is so vague. Do you think you have a fetish(s)? If so, do you want to share what it is? ;)
KAHUNA – Do I think I have a fetish (Don’t we all?)……probably my fascination with butts and anal sex play is safe to discuss. Do I want to share it…….Every chance I can with Babushka!!!
BABUSHKA - Hmmm. . . I cannot think of anything I would consider a fetish. . .
KAHUNA – Depends on the definition of forbidden. Based on the guilt angle I would assume the inference is an affair or such, in which case the ongoing guilt outweighs any pleasure of the activity itself.
BABUSHKA - Very good answer, my dear. Forbidden according to whom? The only "forbidden" sex I can think of involves those who cannot answer for themselves (children/animals/those incapable of making such decisions, etc) or sex that hurts your partner (affairs). Those types of sex would not be enjoyable or hot.
2). Are casual sexual encounters fulfilling to you? Do you need an emotional commitment from your partner for sex to be fulfilling?
KAHUNA – Again, fulfilling can be many things, but I find that the emotional commitment and connection I have with Babushka allows me to feel safe, relax and get my freak on!!!.
BABUSHKA - In my personal opinion and experience, casual sexual encounters are the least fulfulling! I once wanted to live the strong, sex in the city life. It hurt. I am now in the most amazing, emotionally, spiritually and intimately committed relationship I have ever been in. And, it feels beyond words.
3). Do you think that with all of the online dating sites that cater to every fetish and desire and places like craigslist that it’s more difficult to make a commitment and/or stay committed to your partner?
KAHUNA – Not at all
BABUSHKA - Not at all.
4). Have you ever joined or participated in an online dating site? If not, would you ever consider it? What about a fetish site, such as alt.com?
KAHUNA – I have never joined an online service. I have never been to alt.com or anything like that but I would visit it with my Babushka, although I do not see joining being something we would do.
BABUSHKA - I have used 3 services. And, have very little good to say about them. . . I will have to write about it sometime. I have never relaly been to a fetish site. I would like to see one, sometime. But, I cannot see spending money on it.
5). What is the weirdest fetish you've heard of?
KAHUNA – Everyone’s “weirdest’ is different. The internet is full of fetishes weirder than the previous weirdest.
BABUSHKA - I try not to judge. "Wierd" is so subjective. But, as long as #1 is followed, go at it and be happy!
Bonus (as in optional): The definition of 'fetish' is so vague. Do you think you have a fetish(s)? If so, do you want to share what it is? ;)
KAHUNA – Do I think I have a fetish (Don’t we all?)……probably my fascination with butts and anal sex play is safe to discuss. Do I want to share it…….Every chance I can with Babushka!!!
BABUSHKA - Hmmm. . . I cannot think of anything I would consider a fetish. . .
TMI #126 - Not for the faint of heart
1). Is sex hotter for you when it’s forbidden? Or do you get wracked with guilt and it’s not enjoyable?
KAHUNA – Depends on the definition of forbidden. Based on the guilt angle I would assume the inference is an affair or such, in which case the ongoing guilt outweighs any pleasure of the activity itself.
KAHUNA – Again, fulfilling can be many things, but I find that the emotional commitment and connection I have with Babushka allows me to feel safe, relax and get my freak on!!!.
KAHUNA – Not at all
KAHUNA – I have never joined an online service. I have never been to alt.com or anything like that but I would visit it with my Babushka, although I do not see joining being something we would do.
5). What is the weirdest fetish you've heard of?
KAHUNA – Everyone’s “weirdest’ is different. The internet is full of fetishes weirder than the previous weirdest.
Bonus (as in optional): The definition of 'fetish' is so vague. Do you think you have a fetish(s)? If so, do you want to share what it is? ;)
KAHUNA – Do I think I have a fetish (Don’t we all?)……probably my fascination with butts and anal sex play is safe to discuss. Do I want to share it…….Every chance I can with Babushka!!!
KAHUNA – Depends on the definition of forbidden. Based on the guilt angle I would assume the inference is an affair or such, in which case the ongoing guilt outweighs any pleasure of the activity itself.
KAHUNA – Again, fulfilling can be many things, but I find that the emotional commitment and connection I have with Babushka allows me to feel safe, relax and get my freak on!!!.
KAHUNA – Not at all
KAHUNA – I have never joined an online service. I have never been to alt.com or anything like that but I would visit it with my Babushka, although I do not see joining being something we would do.
5). What is the weirdest fetish you've heard of?
KAHUNA – Everyone’s “weirdest’ is different. The internet is full of fetishes weirder than the previous weirdest.
Bonus (as in optional): The definition of 'fetish' is so vague. Do you think you have a fetish(s)? If so, do you want to share what it is? ;)
KAHUNA – Do I think I have a fetish (Don’t we all?)……probably my fascination with butts and anal sex play is safe to discuss. Do I want to share it…….Every chance I can with Babushka!!!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
TMI125
1. Under what conditions would you kiss a stranger?
BABUSHKA - Would, implying now, would only happen if the stranger were my love of my life playing a man/woman I have never met.
Kahuna - There are no conditions....unless Babushka told me to :-)
2. Who was the last person you sent a text message to? If you’ve never sent someone a text message, is there some reason.
BABUSHKA - My Kahuna and I exchange text messages all of the time. When we are thinking of each other. When we are apart. Sometimes when we are together and one of us leaves the room.
Kahuna - Babushka was my last text message......and she send me the texts from the other room
3. When was the last time you deliberately surprised someone?
BABUSHKA - I took the afternoon off and surprised Kahuna at work. Well, actually, I warned him that morning because his admin had scheduled a fake meeting for me posing as a vendor. I knew how busy he was, and that he would cancel it. So, I fessed up.
Kahuna - It would have been Babushka, and it was bringing her a home a Bra from Victoria Secret as she needed a comfortable one
4. How often do walk somewhere (hopefully, other than the mailbox)?
BABUSHKA - I try to walk daily at lunch. Some ladies and I walk indoors in the winter. We are so anxious to get outdoors again!
Kahuna - I use the elliptical fro 30 minutes at the gym before lifting weights
5. What were the longest and shortest durations of your romantic relationships?
BABUSHKA - I have only had one truly "romantic" relationship. We are at 1.5 years. I adore you and love you with all of my heart, my dear Kahuna!
Kahuna - Since Babushka took the easy answer I will too....and I adore you with all my heart :-)
Bonus (as in optional):What is missing from your life.
BABUSHKA - Nothing. I have everything I am supposed to have right now. There are things I would like to add. But, they will come if and when they are meant to.
Kahuna - I have the woman I always dreamed of during my lonely nights
BABUSHKA - Would, implying now, would only happen if the stranger were my love of my life playing a man/woman I have never met.
Kahuna - There are no conditions....unless Babushka told me to :-)
2. Who was the last person you sent a text message to? If you’ve never sent someone a text message, is there some reason.
BABUSHKA - My Kahuna and I exchange text messages all of the time. When we are thinking of each other. When we are apart. Sometimes when we are together and one of us leaves the room.
Kahuna - Babushka was my last text message......and she send me the texts from the other room
3. When was the last time you deliberately surprised someone?
BABUSHKA - I took the afternoon off and surprised Kahuna at work. Well, actually, I warned him that morning because his admin had scheduled a fake meeting for me posing as a vendor. I knew how busy he was, and that he would cancel it. So, I fessed up.
Kahuna - It would have been Babushka, and it was bringing her a home a Bra from Victoria Secret as she needed a comfortable one
4. How often do walk somewhere (hopefully, other than the mailbox)?
BABUSHKA - I try to walk daily at lunch. Some ladies and I walk indoors in the winter. We are so anxious to get outdoors again!
Kahuna - I use the elliptical fro 30 minutes at the gym before lifting weights
5. What were the longest and shortest durations of your romantic relationships?
BABUSHKA - I have only had one truly "romantic" relationship. We are at 1.5 years. I adore you and love you with all of my heart, my dear Kahuna!
Kahuna - Since Babushka took the easy answer I will too....and I adore you with all my heart :-)
Bonus (as in optional):What is missing from your life.
BABUSHKA - Nothing. I have everything I am supposed to have right now. There are things I would like to add. But, they will come if and when they are meant to.
Kahuna - I have the woman I always dreamed of during my lonely nights
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
