This week with my Gram has given me pause. This week has been her final transition from somewhat independent living to completely dependent living. Her slide into dementia has been swift but not entirely complete. She has brief times where she is still lucid - just Gram. At these times she wants to go home and does not want to be in a place where old people play with dolls and talk to themselves. It is so difficult breaking the news to her that she has to stay - over and over again. She drift into her mind and has no memory of previous discussions.
It makes me think about life. We are supposed to spend all of this time scrimping and saving for our golden years. Put off today's pleasures for tomorrow's comfort. Then retirement comes:
- Failing bodies limit activities that have been planned for years
- Spouses pass away to soon to enjoy activities planned
- Failing mental faculties steal our past and cloud our present
- Retirement homes, not vacation homes, are where our "golden years" funds are spent
I am not saying that I will chuck the 401K and buy with credit cards until my wallet bursts into flames. What I do not want to do is put off special times today for a tomorrow that may never occur. Life is simply too short and like an NFL contract - not guaranteed.
I love my Gram but I hope she goes to be with my Grandpa Bill soon. She may be alive but she is no longer living.
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