I am being called away to the rainy Pacific Northwest to tend to my dying grandmother. Coming up on her 9th decade, she has lived a long and full life but her quality of life has been non-existent since August. Even though it is time for her to go in peace, the pain of others is not lessened.
Loss is painful, even when it is for the best and has been planned for. No one is ever truly prepared for that last goodbye. Loss also brings out the best qualities in others - sympathy, care, consideration. For all of our human frailties, most people are good people in their heart.
Babushka is certainly good at heart, mind, body, spirit and soul. She has been very supportive and loving the last few days. We have shared emotions and feelings: commitment and consideration.
We have also shared Orgasms - hers yesterday and mine today. It was neither full-fledged lovemaking or passionately wild fucking. It was two people together - each one bringing the other to orgasm. Sexual intimacy as a way to care for the other; comfort the other; connect with the other; give to the other; relieve stress within the other. Selfless acts of giving to another person. Enjoyable....yes - but selfless all the same.
Healthy sexuality is intertwined with the rest of life. Reminds me of when we moved my grandma out of her home about 10 years ago. I stumbled across a dusty box in the closet and brought it out to where my mother and her sisters were going through dishes. What was in the box was a Penis Pump. As her grown daughters blushed, giggled and mumbled "gross", my grandma stated with pride that there was nothing wrong with a little help to allow her and their dad to share themselves. They were sexual on a regular basis until his Alzheimer's took his mind and spirit from her.
I remember vaguely that 70ish woman finally telling her daughters to grow up. I will miss my gram. But she will be with me always.
It will be a tough week but I will not be alone. I know my friends will be with me. I know my Babushka will be with me.
I will be dealing with life.....and death.......on their terms.