"Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves."
I had a very interesting discussion with my Babushka tonight. She bravely disclosed to me something that occurred a few weeks back that she was ashamed of - something she was reluctant to tell me. Even though she was concerned of how I would react she told told me anyway, having faith in us.
It reminded me of all the times in my previous relationship where I was never forgiven for my mistakes. I still remember vividly that feeling inside - never being able to disclose an error in judgment, knowing it would just be added to the list of past transgressions - stored away until some future date when it would be needed to remind me just how 'less then' and 'unworthy' I truly was. Forgiveness was a concept; a theory - nothing tangible to actually be experienced.
I left that way of life two years ago next month - I have no interest in keeping a ledger of choices we later look back on think "uugh, why did I do that!" Because as humans that is what we do sometimes. That is why God asks us to forgive as he has forgiven us. I see these two quotes and it reminds me that for many on this earth the "concept" of forgiveness is so much easier for them than the act of actually forgiving someone.
"The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves."
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
I could not agree more. I love my Babushka as I love myself