Saturday, July 19, 2008

How we are doing

Well, it has been a while since we have written about us again. It is funny how helpful it is, but it seems to be the last thing we do.

As of today, there are 19 days left until Kahuna's divorce trial. There is nothing new going on with regards to this. Yet, there seems to be so much going on with regards to this:

**It is hard to write(and makes me sick to my stomach), but the honest truth I have to be reminded of. . . It may not be over. There is always the chance that the judge will say they have too much on their plate and cannot devote the necessary attention to this divorce and hold things off again. The superstitious part of me didn't want to write or say that because I don't want to make it come true. But, it is the truth. At least, this time, it will not be PB's stomping of her foot, pouting or general unwillingness to participate that holds things back. We have so many people praying for us, who have been there from the beginning. I have not had the heart to tell them that this is a possibility. Probably because I feel deep in my heart that we have been through enough. Our God, our Higher Power, would not put us through more of this. It is our turn as peace without this fear hanging over our heads.

**We had storms last week. Kahuna's old house was damaged. The next day, PB was cut a check, there on the spot, made out to PB and the mortgage company ONLY! Come to find out, PB had gotten a new insurance policy IN HER NAME ONLY. Funny how she can do that with the mortgage being in Kahuna's name, only. The insurance company doesn't get involved with matters like this. The mortgage company doesn't care whos name the insurance is in, as long as there is sufficient insurance. Good timing, though, to show how financially incompetent she is and what a travesty it would be to make Kahuna fully responsible for the financial troubles THEY were in. Who accepts a check out right before you even get bids or estimates?

**Kahuna's old neighbors and used-to-be friends were at his old house one day visiting with PB. Kahuna had reached out to the man at one point, hoping to maintain some sort of friendship with no response received. It was uncomfortable and painful for my Kahuna. This is a friendship he had not allowed himself to mourn.

**Kahuna has his good days and his bad days. Sometimes we are fearful of what could happen. If he gets some vindictive, man hating, divorced judge who's ex was an alcoholic or sex addict, she may take her rage out on him. Than again, as I write this, I realize we have never mentioned the possibility that Karma will give Kahuna a judge who was once "taken to the cleaners" by an ex wife like PB. Prayer and acceptance, that is all we can do.

I did not get the job at the other county. But, that's ok. It would have been a huge jump in responsibilities and I totally understand their needing someone who required less initial training. I have not given up. I will keep my eyes open and something else may come along. I ran into a few frustrating times this week. Again, a conversation about something I was really excited to do (because they want to better utilize my speaking skills and my ability to be comfortable in front of crowds) turned into someones responsibility. I have my review next week. I will bring it up then. They have not even told me, yet, that I don't get to be the one to do the thing I was excited about. With as many times as promises have been broken in the year I have been there, I am starting to fear that the promotion promised to me at my 6 mo review to be given at my year will be just another carrot dangled but never reached.

Kahuna's job has finally quited down just a bit. The current large conversions of portfolios are complete. Now he just deals with people's general unwillingness to admit they need to follow the rules and procedures, just like everyone else.

On the positive side, BuddyLuv is home! I am so happy to have him home again! He will probably only be here for a week. It is best for him to go back with my parent's to the far north because there is a tutor up there working with him and he is making leaps and bounds! He is so beautiful!

Peaches likes me! Last weekend I got to spend some time with her and Kahuna. We ate dinner, watched TV, talked, played Clue and she was even excited to try the desert I made. This is a big deal because she is not one to try something new. And, part of the desert is something she normally does not really go for. There is a special family desert in my family. It is simple, but has a deep meaning behind it I will not get into now. We made mostly baked chocolate chip bars, still gooey, put them on a plate while still warm, put icecream and chocolate sauce on top of them. Peaches decorated the chocolate on my plate as if I were eating as a fancy restaurant.

Dude chose not to spend time with us. Rather, he spent the evening downstairs, away from me. I know, I am not supposed to take it personally. He is a teenager. Almost 15. He is testing to see what he can get away with. when Kahuna picked him up in my car, I was at Kahuna's with Peaches, Dude advised Kahuna that Kahuna should have "checked with" him before making plans for me to be over. This led to him texting Kahuna when he wanted something from upstairs. The whole Dude thing led to a difficult discussion between Kahuna and I. We talked it out. It also led to a discussion between Dude and Kahuna. Dude asked not to be surprised by my appearances. Kahuna asked that Dude share his concerns, but also understand that he does not have a say in changing Kahuna's plans. If they communicate, it will work out fine.

I am proud to announce that Kahuna has signed up for the necessary classes for him to obtain his doctorate. If all goes as planned, this will allow Kahuna the opportunity to teach his trade in two years. He also thinks this will allow for me to go to school while removing the financial argument against returning to school. If he is teaching, I go for free! I am looking forward to that day!

Well, I have been writing for some time now. I need to go and spend time with BuddyLuv before I head off to work. Kahuna, for all the ups and downs we have, there is no one I would rather go through these things with. There is no one I would be more proud to have at my side. There is no one that I have more faith in than you. I adore you and miss you and cannot wait till tomorrow when you, BuddyLuv and I can spend time together!

1 comment: said...

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