OK Dana/Boo – I am going to answer these questions but do not appreciate the need to go to my dictionary for all these virtuous words to understand what they mean
1. Prudence: When do you feel it is most important to exercise prudence? When is it acceptable to throw practicality out the window?
• KAHUNA – Sound judgment is a good practice in all situations, although some might say leaving a comfortable (if unhappy) existence for the unknown was not prudent.
2. Justice: Is a sense of justice really a virtue, or is only a tool that allows us to pass judgment on others without feeling guilty? What do you feel is the greatest injustice facing the world today?
• KAHUNA – Justice in my opinion is not a virtue, as it is almost solely based on the subjective interpretation of the person(s) seeking it. What I feel is the greatest injustice facing the world today may be entirely just and reasonable in the eyes of others. We all have a soapbox from which we like to espouse our wisdom from.
3. Temperance: All things in moderation. Should we allow ourselves a few excesses? How well do you restrain yourself when faced with your deepest desires?
• KAHUNA – Being someone who is in recovery from both alcohol and pornography addictions, I likely view this differently than some. Moderation is something that does not come naturally to me so I always need to question my own motives and self-restraint is not always easy. For me the desire to be honest and willingness to be as transparent as possible allows for moderation that was not always there.
For alcohol, I have no interest in drinking again so I am able to easily say moderation is not an option. Sobriety is a daily reprieve that I choose – if I ever drink again it will addictive not moderate.
For Porn it is much more complex. Babushka and I enjoy porn and being with her has eliminated the shame I felt in my marriage about it. There are times when this can be a moderate, enjoyable behavior for me yet other times it can be an addictive behavior to escape my feelings. That said, I meet with my SAA sponsor regularly and we discuss where I am at emotionally and what I am or am not viewing/reading as well as sharing myself with Babushka
4. Courage/Fortitude: How well do you confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation? Does facing the little things make you as brave as facing the big things?
• KAHUNA – I do a better job of this that previous, although there is always room to improve. Babushka and I have faced a number of fears together and I am confident we will continue to do so.
5. Faith: Is it important to have faith? How steadfast are you in your core beliefs? Do your core beliefs equate to faith in something?
• KAHUNA – I consider myself spiritual in a recovery sense but not very religious. I tried to become much more religious when I was married but it never ended up connecting with me. My core beliefs equate to faith in my recovery, faith in those I love and ultimately faith in myself.
6. Hope: Does having hope for the future help you deal with the present? How good are you at finding the good in the bad? What is the thing you hope for most?
• KAHUNA – I have more hope for my future today than I have ever had previously (I am writing a college paper on this topic). I do a fairly good job in finding the good in people and situations (politicians excluded). I hope for little these days; If I want to attain something I will work for it rather than hope it happens.
7. Love/Charity: How easy is it for you to give selfless, unconditional, and voluntary loving-kindness? How easy is it for you to receive selfless, unconditional, and voluntary loving-kindness?
• KAHUNA – When I am in a strong mode and sound in my recovery, I exhibit great amounts of selfless and unconditional love. When I am in a less accepting and not as grateful for the blessing in my life and more focused on what I do not have (typically financial) I am instead selfish and conditional in my reactions. I receive love and kindness much better than I used to and always enjoy when Babushka unconditionally loves me– like Sunday Night / Monday morning when a great bout of anal sex put me to sleep and a great blowjob woke me up. Give, Give, Give!!!!!!