Sunday, October 12, 2008

Where to start

Well, where do we start?

Housing. . . The announcement:
WE ARE MOVING! I am so beyond excited! I am so beyond scared! A while back, I shared with Kahuna that I have dreamed for a while that BuddyLuv and I will be in the same city as he and his family by the beginning of the next school year. I feel it is important that this happen in the summer, not mid year. I also feel it is important that this happen THIS summer because he would have one more year in middle school to adjust before he start high school. Then he would go to HS with the same kids from start to finish.

Housing. . . The history:
For the entire time Kahuna and I have been together, I struggled back and forth. I was torn. I KNEW from day one this would happen. I prayed this would happen. But, I was also scared that this would happen. I felt that, because I have, in my opinion, been a less than good mother for most of BuddyLuv's life, I owed it to him to NEVER make him switch school districts. This was reinforced by my parent's, who held, and probably still hold, the opinion that I would be "selfish" to move BuddyLuv to a brand new school district just so that I can be with Kahuna.

Housing. . . The realities:
I have been able to talk through this with a few close friends. 1) Although this may be a rough transition for BuddyLuv, this may not be a rough transition for him. 2) He would not be the first child who is moved during middle school. 3) He may want to stay in the same school district with his friends. But, he wants someone he can think of and call DAD even more.

Housing. . . The fears:
The fears that run through my mind are:
1) The children will have a rough adjustment
2) The children will, worse yet, never adjust
3) We will end up as one of those tragic families you hear about where wonderful, non-violent children become violent and rebellious (any of the children)
4) This will damage Kahuna's relationships with his children
5) Living in sin, and God's/families' opinion and not being able to have my nieces' over, overnight, because of this choice

Housing. . . The market:
As I am sure I mentioned before, I was preyed upon when I bought my house. Preyed upon by a contractor/attorney/realtor who were all working together to dump a flipped home. It ended up being overpriced when purchased and overpriced when refinanced to keep it. Well, in today's market, that means a home value 20+% LESS than it is currently marketed at. OUCH! Our options are/were to:
1) Stay as is, living in two separate homes in two separate cities
2) Selling my home, trying to get the bank to accept a short sale
3) Keeping the home and renting it out
4) Foreclosure

I have openly entertained Option 1. It is my last choice. Option 4 is my second to last choice. We would be able to all be together. But, my credit would be ruined and that is all that I have had for all of these years. I have taken pride in the fact that I keep decent credit through the messes I have been in. I am still torn between Option 2 and Option 3.

Option 2
1) Hit to my credit, effecting it for a few years
2) The market may turn around before 2011 when the balloon payment is due
3) It will probably take a while to sell and I would not be able to rent it out while waiting for it to sell
1) This house would then be in my past
2) We would not have to deal with the risks of rentals
3) We could take our lumps and move on

Option 3
1) It is risky renting
2) I would still be responsible for the home and repairs
3) I would be financially responsible for the home if I do not have a renter
4) It would be expensive to make the necessary repairs to make the home rentable
5) Our rental choice would be more limited to budget for 3
My credit could potentially still be hurt
1) The market could turn around, renting may allow for us to break even in the end
2) My credit could potentially stay good
3) I could find good renters like the one currently in my basement and all would be fine

Wow! As I am listing these out, I have started to realize just how much risk there could be with Option 3. Yes, I could spent the 10K now to fix the place up. But, the reality is, the home would probably not regain 40K in value in 3 years. Therefore, we would need to do a short sale/foreclosure 3 years from now anyway. Plus, we would be out the money put into it just to make it rentable, plus, that means I risk my credit being affected for 3-7 years after 2011! Plus, who knows if banks will be as open to short sales then like many are being forced to be now. If I do and can do a short sale now, the credit hit would be over by the time the balloon payment is due.

Housing. . . The dream:
I know this probably sounds negative. There is a lot to think about, and a lot running through my mind. But, in the end, at the end of the day, the only thing that truly matters is that we will all be together. It will all work out. We just need to take that leap of faith.

Get busy livin' or get busy dyin':
I have my eyes wide open and I am ready to jump!


Big Kahuna said...


I know it is scary for you and BuddyLuv, just as it is for me.

We will take that leap of faith together one day at a time.

tiwiwtw said...

Congratulations and although there are fears and uncertainties with such an ordeal, the important thing is you will be happy in the long run and this is something you want!