The second event that made things hard this weekend was friendships, or lack there of. If you have read the past postings, I have not always made smart decisions. I did not consider myself to be a good person. So, I did not make friends with good people.
Fast forward a few years.
Now, I am surrounding myself with good people. But, I don't have those good lasting friendships like my new friends. When I was out with Senorita, I noticed it. They had such a long history together. They knew all of each other's families. They did a great job trying to invite me into the conversations. However, I was noticeably (to me) an outsider.
When I am at church, all of the wives have known each other forever. They are involved both inside and outside the church. And then there is me.
I guess I myself have always labeled myself the outsider. I have labeled myself the I get along with everyone, but have a close relationship with no one person. This is my doing.
If I had the power to do all of this, imagine the power I truly have to make those relationships I long for.