Saturday, January 13, 2007

Old Wounds Heal Slowly

"How would you feel standing in front of God and faced with eternal damnation"
This is the thought in the mind of Babushka.

"Perhaps she should not date someone who is not completely divorced - someone who cannot be fully committed to her. "
This is the question placed at her feet.

I cannot effectively argue that point - she deserves the absolute best and 100% of a man's time and attention - something I cannot give her at this point.

Babushka is comfortable with dating me and being with me, except sexually. She is conflicted with the sexual component of us. I have had a difficult time coming to terms with this. I find the old tapes of sex being selfish, dirty and wrong have awakened. The times we shared that were once passionate, joyful, healthy - are they now unhealthy in her eyes?

I honor and respect
Babushka; her morals, her values, her charater. These questions posed to her have unibtentionally exposed my fears and insecurities - the old wounds on my past.

All wounds heal - Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly"

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